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living in dorms

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by stormborn, May 6, 2014.

  1. stormborn

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    so next year, i am going off to an out-of-province university. hooray! except, i have to live in a dorm.

    i was terrified of not getting the single-room i applied for, and when i started having terrible dreams of all the terrible possibilities that could arise on move-in day, i contacted the housing advisor. he was super understanding (awesome!) and put me in a single room, on a co-ed floor, and gave me a map of all the gender non-specified washrooms on campus(doubly awesome!). however, there are seperate bathrooms for males and females. not so awesome.

    i'm pre-t, only out to two friends who still treat me as female (though if all goes according to plan, i'll be living as male everywhere except my job by summer break) and when i head out there in the fall, it'll be my first experience in an environment where i could live stealth (i think i mostly pass? i look prepubescent, but i'll be almost a year younger than most people are in first year, so maybe people will attribute it to that? i don't know.) but not being open can cause a lot of problems, especially if someone were to see me naked in the men's shower, or clothed in the women's. i should be able to get a carrying letter by then, but i'm not 100% on that.

    so, any advice on how open i should be with all these new people i'll be living around?
    on how to deal with separate washrooms?
    on anything, really?
     
  2. Manta

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    It's probably something that will also depend on the other people living on your floor. Different dorms have different atmospheres and personalities that change with the people living in them. How open you want to be will probably be impacted by the type of people you're living around and how comfortable you feel with them.

    I'm in a single right now with mens/women's showers, and depending on the time of day/night you may not encounter anyone. I typically just avoid the times when a lot of people are in there. The trick is figuring out when are the high traffic times (like when most people wake up and are getting ready for class) and when the bathrooms are the most empty (I'm a morning person and I've never had company showering at 5am). I have a friend who always showers at 2am before she goes to sleep (she's a night owl) and she always has the bathroom to herself as well.

    Good luck with university!
     
  3. Calix

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    As far as the bathroom is concerned. Just walk into the guys, go into a stall, do your business, wash your hands and leave. Don't look at any guys, and their not going to look at you. Most people don't pay attention to strangers in everyday life.
     
  4. stormborn

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    yeah, i think i'm just going to have to shower at odd times and at the speed of light :lol:


    thanks for the advice friends :grin:
     
  5. Manta

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    As a sophomore myself, let me tell you most people shower at odd times. If you have any siblings you've had to share the bathroom with, it's like multiplying that several times over. I've heard the shower going at three in the afternoon, three in the morning, twelve, nine, you name it. So don't stress out about it. Close the main door to the bathroom when you go in, and then you will hear if someone else enters. If you don't want to be seen by them then soak in the hot water and enjoy the steam until it's empty again :thumbsup:

    I don't know about your dorm, but most at my school have closed off stalls for each shower so you can undress and redress in the stall. I would recommend NOT using a towel to get to and from your room, because I've seen nearly a dozen people accidentally lock themselves out in a state of undress and it doesn't look fun... (although seeing the same girl locked out in a towel three times in one year is rather funny :lol:slight_smile:
     
  6. stormborn

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    that's very reassuring -- my sister showers at the weirdest times :lol:

    i'm not really sure about how anything is set up at this uni, which is stress inducing. but you're right, it'll probably have a closed off stall. i'll definitely be carrying clothes, i'm so forgetful i have the feeling i'd be like that girl :lol:

    it's also a big city i'll be in, and stereotyped to be full of hippies and potheads... so i'm hoping the people there are a bit more open minded than they are where i'm at now :grin:
     
  7. Tetra

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    Don't know where you're headed, fellow Canadian, but my campus has only ONE gender-neutral washroom (the only one I feel comfortable in). It's up to you if you want to use the male one, or stick with gender neutral. Either way, as long as you feel comfortable, who gives a fuck what anyone else thinks?
     
  8. stormborn

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    bc :icon_bigg
    my campus has one in every building, so that's awesome. sucks about yours, though :/

    but yes, that's great advice. thanks :grin: