So I made an anonymous post on my university's message board, specifically the relationship board, asking if anyone who frequents the board would be willing to date a trans girl. I was really just curious, I'm not pursuing a relationship now (though I do get hella lonely sometimes ;n; ). Anyway, this girl comments on the post, and I'm sure she was trying to be nice, but she suggested I check out this fetish dating site. I went there and it looks like a place for hardcore BDSM stuff, with some pretty extreme stuff even on the front page. I dunno, it just got me upset that I'm pretty much seen as a fetish for wanting to be like a girl, and it's this kind of shit that makes me question whether this whole trans thing is even worth pursuing in the first place.
Hater's gonna hate. Just be you and soon enough you won't have to put up with any bullshit, because those that care will be speaking a much louder message than the few individuals with some hateful word-vomit.
It's definitely worth pursuing, if it's who you truly are. I'm "ethnic" - technically, you could say there are others who would objectify me for traits outside of my control, but am I going to play those qualities down, or deny my ancestry? No way. Don't get me wrong: trans women have arguably one of the most difficult situations out of all LGBT groups, especially with chasers, murderers, and rapists, sometimes all wrapped into one warped mind. Like two sides of the same coins, you're going to have your "haters" as well as "admirers". It would be smart to stay clear of anyone who looks at your "exterior" traits, those that make up a part of you, but aren't entirely you, while giving those without a bias a chance.
That girl was clearly making fun of you and was clearly stupid for doing so. You deserve to be treated as a human being and as the one you really are. Of course you're not a fetish. This trans* thing is worth pursuing because it's who you really are, regardless of what anyone else might say, and stupid ignorant mean people will maybe continue to exist, but there are also a lot of accepting and loving people, and ones who go through the same things as you do. Try to find a lgbtq* club (maybe there's one at your college or nearby), and if there isn't one - for starters, you have this website and many other resourceful and friendly websites that will accept and support you. While that may seem like not a lot, it is a step in the right direction. I'm sure there's at least one (if not more) student in your college who can understand you, and if you try to look for them - or maybe there'll be more responses to your anonymous post - you'll probably feel better, and won't need to pay attention to the likes of this one asshole. Hope you'll be happier soon with who you are. You're lovely.
I don't think she was making fun. Uneducated, maybe? But yeah, it's definitely something that's worth pursuing. Try not to think of anyone else, focus on you!
Fetishes, what's new? (*hug*) The undeniable fact is that there are a lot of people out there who think transgender people (trans women, especially) are a fetish. I wouldn't call them mean or making fun, they're mostly just uneducated and think trans people have the same sentiments as themselves. I know some of these people and well, they're nice people, but they will look at a trans woman and find her hot just because she's trans. Just ignore that comment as it's obviously not going to be of use to you. It is worth pursuing, there are some unbiased people who see others as who they really are.
I agree that she was probably just uneducated and thinks that transgenderism is transvestitism. This is a pretty common mistake. That being said, please try to ignore these sorts of things as people like this aren't worth your time. I don't understand why people think it's ok to treat someone differently just because they're trans. Haters, chasers, just ignore them all. I'm sure that you'll find someone who loves and respects you so, don't give up!
