trying to find a label, then accepting it's absence

I've struggled with my gender for the past year, and finally realized its a pointless battle.

I have male mannerisms, but I reject masculinity.
I feel very feminine sometimes, but in normal life I'm basically asexual.
I call myself a woman, as that's the only thing I feel when I feel anything, but no one takes that seriously because I don't act in a way that they see as female.
I call myself Brett or Mara, it doesnt matter.

My gender orientation has no label, because its too complicated for even me to understand, but that's perfectly fine. I realize this now. I think that if someone would want to understand my gender, we would already be acquainted enough for them to understand me complexly, a simple label would just make people misinformed.
I guess I just don't care.

That is all.