So, after finishing my midterms my mother and I went out for dinner and after that we went shopping for clothes. On the way we passed a nail salon and she said: "You could let your nails grow and we'll paint them together" "No." "You could wear your hair long" "No." "Why?" "Just...nope." "Okay." (In this part I will be referring to myself as "she" because that was the pronoun used in the actual dialogues." Then we got into the Gap. I went looking for some khakis and there were no satisfactory ones. My mom asked the clerk (which, interestingly, seemed to be a transitioning FtM on HRT. I think he was wearing a binder.) if there were any suitable ones. He looked at me and went: "Well yeah, but I think the men's area might carry what you want. Girls can wear those too." (Good move, bro. I'm nowhere near out.) My mom went: "MEN'S?!" Clerk: "Might want to try that out" And we followed him there. I am silently grinning like an idiot behind her back I tried three different cuts and found one that both my mom and I agreed on, so I thought I was actually getting that pair. Everything seemed fine, until we headed downstairs and she decided to linger for a while in the women's section while I doled out inappropriate fashion advice. I don't know what got into my mom but she suddenly turned to me and started to talk about jeans on display. Which, then, attracted another helpful clerk's attention (cisguy) Clerk: "How can I help you?" Mom: "We were looking at jeans. Jamie, do you like these jeans?" Me: "No, I've got plenty." Mom:"She's just picked out this pair from upstairs. " Clerk: "Oh, that's for men." I turned and pretended to be engrossed in another article of clothing when she came up and told me: "Go upstairs and put it back." "Why?" "It's for men." "So?" "I'm not buying you men's clothes." And so she took the khakis and stormed into the elevator. "I gave birth to a daughter and you will NOT wear men's clothes." "But..." "You're a girl, A GIRL GIRL GIRL A GIRL!" (We were alone in there) I ended up getting some suspiciously sweatpant-like quasi khakis from the women's department. I'm not normally the fashion-conscious person or someone who spends a lot of money on clothes, but at that moment, I really cannot wait until I become financially independent and buy my own fucking wardrobe. Jesus, all this for a pair of pants? If I had known I wouldn't have bothered.
Based on your mum's reaction, could she have suspicions that you're trans? It sucks that you couldn't get decent clothes though I remember many a shopping trip where my mum tried to get me to buy dresses/skirts. Luckily she accepted my refusals though.
She could. Once, in the car she asked me (I was in 7th grade back then) "Do you want to get a sex change?" I said no. "Are you homosexual?" Genuinely, no. I don't know about being trans but she did make it clear that if I were a lesbian (her words) she would disown me. I don't have to worry about that though.:dry:
I'm in a similar boat. My parents hate me cutting my hair short and dressing very boyish. Mine kinda get over it, though... Maybe you should ask your mom why a pair of shorts mean more to her than your own happiness?
I'm sorry. That's crap. Though I know my mum would have been exactly the same. In a way, it's a blessing I didn't know I was trans or have any dysphoria about wearing dresses and girly clothes when I was a kid and growing up. My mum would have never let me wear boy's clothes so your mum's reaction isn't unusual.
Ugh... She sounds verbatim like my mother when I was younger. I mean, verbatim. :eusa_doh: I remember once when going to visit family that my mother totally freaked out over my guy's clothes (I was 16 at the time) and went on so much that I had a panic attack and tried to throw myself out of the car while it was going about 60 mph. Eventually, she stopped at a store and forced me to get something less masculine - sweatpants. Just hang in there. She totally knows that you're not a girl so, she's going to fight it. You'll have your own money soon enough. (&&&)
Reading this kind of thing makes me thankful that my parents don't give a shit about my wardrobe. They've screwed up a lot as far as parenting goes, but they didn't even question when I started wearing boxer shorts. It's clear that your mom knows something is going on, and she's clearly just trying to deal with it as best she can, little does she know that she's hurting you in the process. Give her some time, man. She might say she'll disown you, but give her a chance. It's likely she'll get over herself and realize what's truly important.
Yea that's why I'm worried about parents. I've TRIED to get a few girly clothing items or even unisex when. I was growing up but my mom called me out on it. Man if I knew what I knew now I might have been stronger to fight for it. (*hug*)
Man, that's awful I get that kind of shit from my sister, but that's easier to blow off than from a parent. Sorry you had to deal with that.
Ugh I'm just going to link to a rant I made in another thread which also seems perfectly appropriate for this one: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/2041333-post27.html I'm sorry that your mom isn't more considerate of your identity and feelings, sherlock.
