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The guilt is eating me alive

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by The Happy One, May 13, 2014.

  1. The Happy One

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    I'm a trans* boy and I made an Internet friend about a year ago. I introduced myself as male and never got the courage to tell him the truth. I don't even intend to do it anymore. But this is getting harder and harder to hide. He never heard me talk because I'm sure he'd find out the truth. I know I'll have to do it someday. I'm not 18 yet and I can't really start taking T to make my voice deeper. I want to remain friends with him and meet him in real life one day, too. I don't really know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm living a lie. I can't stand it anymore. It makes me want to kill myself.
    What should I do?
     
  2. ErenJaeger

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    Really, my best advice is just go for it! It sounds like you guys have known each other and have been friends for a while, right? Has he said anything to make you believe he disagrees with trans people? If not, I think you should just open up and be honest. I know this is reeeeally cliche, but... You know... If he's your real friend, he'll understand, even if it takes him a while.
     
  3. BelleFromHell

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    First off: (*hug*)
    Do you know his opinion on LGBT people? If not, I'm sure it won't hurt to ask.

    If he doesn't have a problem with trans people, I think you should come out to him. Just say: "Hey, *insert his name here*. There's something I've wanted to tell you for a long time. I'm male on the inside, but I was born female. I know this must be a lot to take in, but I'm still the same *insert your name here* you know and love. I'm sorry I kept this a secret for so long, and I hope we can still be friends."

    Please hang on... (*hug*)
     
  4. Gates

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    It sounds as if you might like this boy as more than a friend; am I right?
     
  5. The Happy One

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    That's right.
     
  6. Gates

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    And is he gay?
     
  7. Slothus

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    I think you should tell him the truth no matter what his feelings are towards LGBT people. If he doesn't like you are then it may suck but your relationship wasn't going to last anyway. I really hope it doesn't matter to him, it seems like he means a lot to you.
     
  8. The Happy One

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    No, he is straight. But he knows I like him.
     
  9. Gates

    Gates Guest

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    And how does he feel about that?
     
  10. The Happy One

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    He's ok with it.
     
  11. Gates

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    I think that you should tell him, and also tell him that you were concerned about telling him because you want for him to see you as a guy. Also, tell him that even though you like him, you still can't be a girl so, you hope that it won't change anything about how he feels for you. <<< this is so that he doesn't suddenly "decide" to like you because of your female physiology. If he likes you, he needs to like you for who you are, not for what parts you have (IMO).