So all my life I've never had a problem with being a girl, but recently I've realised that I feel more masculine compared to other girls around me. I still identify as a girl if anyone asks, but being a girl is not something I really think about much. I definitely don't identify as male, and I'm happy with my body, I just don't feel 100% female. Is this normal? I'm a little confused by it.
Here's a question for you. What difference does it make to you? What I mean by that, is I would say probably most people don't think very hard about their gender...you get the occasional person who just has to prove how much of a man they are for example, but usually you just don't give it a lot of thought. So let's say for a moment that you AREN'T 100% female, what changes for you?
Yeah I suppose not much changes really. My main issues are it's hard for me to find clothes I like because some clothes make me feel uncomfortable by being too stereotypically feminine. I guess I'm also a bit self conscious about what people might think of the way I dress. Thinking about it, it actually might be more of a self esteem issue. I rarely find clothes that make me feel good about myself, so therefore I often struggle to feel good about myself. I'm finding it a little hard to explain what I mean :/
Just for a minute, forget that clothes have 'genders', as far as you need to worry about clothing is completely unisex. What kind of things would you wear in this situation? As a follow up, would that change how you see yourself in terms of gender?
Well, I guess I'd wear skinny jeans, leggings, shorts. T shirts, button up shirts, vests/tank tops. Boots, leather jackets. Pretty much what I wear now, but more so, and with less of a feeling that I have to look how others expect me to. I don't think it would change how I view my gender, but I'd probably feel better within myself if I could dress how I want to without feeling shy. Sometimes I love the way I look and dress, and feel super confident about it, but other times I feel really embarrassed for the way I like to style myself. I'm not sure why.
I don't think it would change how I view my gender, but I'd probably feel better within myself if I could dress how I want to without feeling shy. Then I would suggest this is the meat of the problem. If you don't mind me asking, what is it about the way you dress that makes you self conscious?
I'm not completely sure to be honest. I think it's at least partly because I feel most comfortable dressing in a way that is quite eye-catching (especially with my hairstyle taken into account as well), and sometimes I start to feel anxious if I feel like people are looking at me weirdly. Some days I can just hold my head up and be proud of the way I look, and others I just want to melt away into the ground when people stare. I like to dress in a way that's inspired by video game characters, so I like to include some more unusual accessories. For example, I recently bought a pair of steampunk goggles, and I love them, but I've never worn them in public because I'm too scared. I wish I had just a bit more confidence so that I could wear things like that without worrying about what others will think. I also sometimes worry that people are thinking 'ugh, girls shouldn't dress like that' or that people think I look like a bad person because I have a mohawk and dress in jackets and boots. Which I know shouldn't really bother me because I know I'm not a bad person, but it does for some reason.
Sorry for double posting, but I just wanted to say that yesterday I bought some shirts I liked even though they were from the men's section. It doesn't sound like that big a thing, but last time I was looking in the men's section I got too self conscious and had to leave. This time I kept my cool, spent some time browsing, and even took the shirts to the fitting rooms to try on without getting self conscious about it
