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The mental image of my body.

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Zeeque, May 15, 2014.

  1. Zeeque

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    First of all, couldn't really find any threads about this topic so created this one. Sorry if one allready exists.

    Over the last few months i have taken some big steps towards finding my true identity. Big steps for me anyways, but something has always been in the back of my head. I have to be slim if i want to pass as a woman. Im 174cm heigh, thats 5.7ft and i currently weigh 75kg thats 165 pound. (Only use the metric system so not sure about the feet and pounds, just used google for that) Im not that fat, actually i only just got a little belly and this basicly it.

    But what it comes down to is, does anyone else feel like they cant become their true identity without loosing weight or gaining weight or whatever? The last 2 months i have started jogging again, and thinking more of what i eat, but i realized that for 2 days a row, monday and tuesday this week i actually didn't eat anything. Im not really afraid that i have an eating dissorter or anything, but i'd like to hear about peoples opinions or if they have experienced the same or a similar thing.
     
  2. BookDragon

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    For a long while I did...see, I'm 190+cm (6'3") and I have no idea how much I weigh, but I'm big. Big shoulders. Big arms. BIG.

    For a long while I thought I couldn't do anything because I would never be cute and petite and things. Even if I DID lose weight I'd still be massively tall and probably look weird.

    It took me a long while to realise that it really doesn't change anything. If I had been born with the right body, the chances are I would still be this size. I would probably still look the same and I would have no excuse.

    If I'd been born with a female body I would probably still be sitting here thinking how nice it would be to be shorter, thinner, nicer boobs, smoother skin...all these things. I know I would.

    So I realised that actually it doesn't matter that much to me. I'll never be my 'perfect' vision of a girl, ever. But I wouldn't be any closer if I'd been born that way either! So now I just accept that I'm not the best looking girl in the world and work with what I've got!
     
  3. Zeeque

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    I guess that makes sense.
     
  4. Kasey

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    Exactly...

    Even cis females have body issues. I think it's relative. Us trans girls just want to look more feminine.

    But then even "hot" cis females aren't always the exact same body proportions.

    It's easy to say about being comfortable since we all desire to be more female. But You work with what you have basically.
     
  5. Manta

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    I think the most important thing is health. If your body is healthy, it will be received as beautiful by others and you will feel more beautiful yourself.

    From someone struggling on the other end of the weight spectrum, I can tell you that there is so much more to attractiveness than that one number.

    I do feel like I need to gain weight partially for my gender, mostly through the form of muscle, but even then I know I'll never be built because that isn't my body type. I'll just start by getting to a healthy weight and continue exercising and working out after that.
     
  6. clockworkfox

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    Unfortunately, yes - and what an ironic dilemma I feel I have on my hands! I feel like I can't be percieved as male until I lose weight - because of my thighs and that distinctively girly shape they give me, too wide compared to my waist. But I also don't think i'll be passable unless I gain weight - muscle weight - in my upper body; not a lot, but enough to make me look less like a walking noodle.

    It just seems difficult. I mean I don't care about numbers in the sense of pounds, for me it's about ratios, and considering ratios just makes being more male seem impossible.
     
  7. ProtegeMoi

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    I'm 6'3-6'4 and I know that's tall, but hey it gives me long legs. Wearing heels I'm an amazon at 6'6+, so yeah. I do only weigh about 170-175 though since i eat right and work out -so Im happy with that.

    However I've been working on my skin and still have a long way to go. Dude stubble, acne scars from being a teen and forehead wrinkles from being generally pissed off and scowly. I'm hoping a derma roller will help otherwise ill have to fork out the money for some resurfacing. Ill also have to wear wigs unless I get hair transplants for my hairline, but hey little steps.
     
  8. KyleCats

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    Yep, this is my thing.

    I've spent most of my adult life neglecting myself and now it's just another obstacle. I need to lose 100lbs at least, 150-170 ideally. I know I can lose weight and add muscle at the same time, and I'm good when it comes to bulking up (did it a few years ago and still lost 60lbs) but I don't think I can look good as a guy until I lose this weight.

    I went clothes shopping and couldn't even find pants that would fit me. I mean, they didn't even sell them. I think I need to go to a Big and Tall store for decent mens pants. Ugh.

    But I'm not letting it get in my way of being who I am. I still found some shirts that fit, I still cut my hair and nails (always had long nails - this was a big step for me, lol) and I just do what I can. I'm motivated because I want to be a good looking dude.

    Not eating isn't good though, you'll screw up your metabolism and it'll slow way down. Trust me, that's one reason why I got to be as big as I am. As long as you do things in a healthy and consistent way, you'll get there :slight_smile:
     
  9. Gates

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    I've never really had an issue with weight as far as "passing." I have issues with weight because meh...
    <<< "recovered" anorexic but technically I'm not; I just don't practice it because I know that it's unhealthy. I still always see myself as heavier than I should be (I'm 5'6" and weigh about 120; ideally, I want to weigh 105 and last year lost to 101 but felt awful so, then I gained almost 20 lbs... yay... :dry: *totally not on purpose*). I'll tolerate myself being at 115 but I really need to lose 5 lbs. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: However, I'm hungry all the time so, it's hard. :frowning2:
     
  10. Manta

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    120 actually sounds really healthy, so I wouldn't worry about it :slight_smile: If you're hungry, eat! Just make sure its healthy and you are also exercising regularly and your weight will be fine. You don't want it to drop too low, trust me on that. People don't find being very skinny attractive, just like they don't find severe obesity. Anyway, like I wrote before, I think when you are healthy is when you are the most beautiful/attractive. :icon_bigg
     
  11. Ngc

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    I haven't been eating all that much and exercising like crazy because I need to make my thighs not be so huge and for my figure not to be so full and feminine. I can barely fit into the shorts I bought the other day and it was all because of my stupid thighs. I'm doing better, my counselor and friends have been making sure I don't go too far though, so no worry there! I'm not withering away over here, still at 224.
     
  12. Tetra

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    Yeah, not eating will do much more harm than good. The best advice anyone can give you, is that if you're hungry, eat. If you aren't, don't. Eat ice-cream sometimes, eat vegetables sometimes. If you eat when you're hungry, and not when you're sad/bored/lonely, you'll barely need to think about you weight. Besides, there's so much more to live for than scrutinizing our bodies all day.
     
  13. Yannick

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    Actually for me it was the "false" identity that apparently caused me an eating disorder. At one point of my life when I was 15 so much bad things happened that I just couldn't take it anymore. I wanted people to like me. For once. I couldn't take more hate so started to dress like a girl and grew out my hair so the people in new school would accept me better. Life got better but I really started to hate my body and constantly thought that I need to be skinnier.

    Now I am 25 and after I accepted that I am trans and decided I am now strong enough to come out and be who I am I have lost interest in loosing weight and my weight in general as long as I look healthy. Now I just want to build some muscle and get stronger and fitter (I need muscular arms) but I am not obsessed about it. I haven't had enough motivation for that since I was 15 and "gave up". My weight is now 60-62 kg (132-137lbs) after a year of uncontrollable eating. I am 165 cm or 5.5ft. I think my weight is now ok and I don't need to get smaller to look good as a guy.

    I really had more pressure when I tried to be a girl.