Guilty Secret I feel absolutely horrible about...

Thank you for sharing that with us. I don't have anything to add, because I know there isn't much I can say to make you feel any better about it.

What I can say, is thank you. Thank you for trusting us enough to let us know something so deep and personal. Thank you for trusting us enough to allow yourself to be vulnerable.

I'm sure if she knew, she would forgive you.

 

Audrey, I feel you because I was very homophobic and transphobic. I said a lot of awful words against gays and trans people. But one day, I realised how evil I was.

So, good job milady Now you're completely free, like me (*hug*)

 

I used to be a fucker myself using gay and tranny and shit like that so callously myself...

I wasn't an outright trans or homophobe but I've definetly used words that would totally offend me right now and I apologize to everyone for ever having done that. There was a brave transwoman that I used to see back in town when I was in high school/college. I talked shit with my friends behind her back. Guess what? I know where she works. When I see her again I'm going to apologize even though I've never said shit to her face. I feel I need to clean out my closet.

Being in the closet does some weird shit to a person.

Until I saw Audrey post this I've never thought twice about it.

Fate isn't without a sense of irony it seems...

(*hug*)

You aren't alone.

 

(*hug*) I'm sorry that you were so repressed for so long and that you've been carrying this guilt with you; maybe someday you could reach out to her and explain what happened. You seem to really care for her and I think that makes up for the subtle policing you were doing. (*hug*)

I use to be silently homophobic with respect to gay transguys until I met one and saw others treating him horribly; I felt sick and that sickness completely burned away any homophobia I had. We all make mistakes; we're only human and you know, I think that you would make an excellent mother if you ever decided to try again.

 

Hey Audrey, I want to say that even though what you did in your past is bad. It's behind you now, unfortunately you can't change it or take it back per say. But as long are you are truly sorry and you can be honest with yourself. If you really are sorry that then there is nothing to forgive because when we do things like that in our past we were ignorant of the things we were doing. I don't think i have ever done something like that but if i did, I would repent by never doing something like that again and move on. If you do run into the people you did hurt buy them a drink or a cup of coffee/tea. Apologize if you can and bury the hatchet and if you can't well just promise yourself you'll never make the same dumb mistake. That's all live free and happy. Also Audrey, we are all humans in the end. We were never perfect to begin with and we do our best to make things better. I thank you for sharing, us and others who read this can learn from this experience.

 

Thanks for opening up about this Audrey! (*hug*)

 

Awwwwww I love you too sister (*hug*)

 

(&&&)

 

I think a lot of us have said things that we regret. I know I have. Never to or about anyone specific, but that doesn't mean that what was said wasn't damaging, no matter how accepting I really was as a person. Words have weight.

That being said, well, it's been said but I'll say it again - what's already passed is in the past. You might not be able to change your actions, but you don't have to repeat them. Keep moving forward as the wiser woman you've become since then! (*hug*)

 

Thank you for sharing (*hug*)

I know just how much these sorts of things can eat at you, but I hope opening up about it here helps. Everyone's said things they regret, but you've done more than most by confronting and acknowledging it. You can only move forward from here! (*hug*)

 

I know how you feel. I'm in a very similar situation with my stepdaughter. I was buying shampoo and conditioner and she was helping me find something and she wanted a new body wash and I was surprised at first when she grabbed a ninja turtle one. I asked her if that was what she really wanted and if she had smelled the other ones. She ended up with Raphael instead of Michaelangelo and all I could do was smile, because its the first time I've seen her go outside Hello Kitty or Monster High (she's seven).

I worry that if I do end up doing hrt and so on that I might warp her perspective or the idea that her classmates may give her a hard time. Shes a sensitive kid and I find myself apologizing a lot because I'm not as patient as I'd like to be with all of the other stuff going on in my mind.

Im sure when you get a chance to talk to her that it won't bother her as much as it does you, but i know itll help you heal a bit. I'm happy that you posted this, because it reinforces some things that I need to start paying more attention to.

 

Yeah! Turtle power!

---------- Post added 17th May 2014 at 11:44 AM ----------

And Audrey, while you may have voiced your disapproval, you at least bought her the stuff she wanted to wear and didn't force her not to wear stuff most of the time?

Try not to dwell on it too much though, your eyes have been opened now and you're a truly wonderful person. (*hug*)

We all make mistakes!



[Side note: I don't think I was that bad growing up, shy of using "That's gay!" and making the odd gay joke to a bi friend of mine (which he didn't mind. ). I always knew that I wouldn't care if someone was gay or trans and knew that I'd go out with a trans woman, because they are women.]

 

Oftentimes, my wife wants me to go with her when she's out shopping for clothes and such, and my usual response is to resist or just flat out throw a fucking tantrum. I hate shopping for one thing, and wandering the women's sections staring at clothes I "can't" wear, well......yeah.

---------- Post added 17th May 2014 at 05:18 AM ----------

The ability and/or willingness to change is what seperates good people from the bad.