Hey community! Recently I've finally accepted the fact that I am a MTF Transgender. After almost half a decade of questioning myself I've finally got the answer. Heres a little background on myself. It all started when I was around 10 or so. Having a huge desire to be a female. A lot of the times I posed as a female when online playing things such as xbox live and such and i loved it. I did this for years and I was extremely happy. Then it progressed years after I started dressing up in womans clothing Bras underwear shirts yoga pants etc and just loved the feeling it felt so right. And seeing all the girls at school with their smooth legs and gorgeous hair I was envious of them I wanted that I still do want that! Recently the thought has been plauging me again but even more powerful than before. It feels like someone inside is screaming at me to let her out. I feel wrong in boys clothes I just feel depressed in where I am at right now. I want to be the person inside me who I really am. That's a beautiful sexy female. I just dont know where to start : ( Coming out is so hard I dont know if I will get disowned or if I will lose my friends. I have a girlfriend of one year who i know I will lose and I've accepted that. Our sex lives have plummeted a lot recently and my family what will they say or do if they see me walking around with women clothes on? Everyone has known me as a boy all this time I dont want to lose everyone I know Im still the same person I just want to be who I really am. I dont want to end up starting a new life. If I have to then so be it but it is not something I WANT to happen. Buying my own clothes starting my female wardrobe is something I'd have to start too. I need a lot of help. I was thinking of bringing it up to my psych next time I see her and see how it goes if that is advisable. I feel like im putting on an act being a guy. Its time to be myself. So where do I start?
No one wants to reinvent themselves. We just want to be who we are. Others have to accept us. We accept ourselves. Are you out to anyone? That's one of the first issues. After that you need to start building your wardrobe. For those who are scared at first, online is the way to go. But the problem is figuring out size. Once you get sizing down its not a problem. Believe me I know what it feels like to put on an act when you don't feel like who you are. You're not the only one. Welcome to EC. You'll get a lot from here.
I feel like I can open up to my friend. I've been friends with him since middle school we're best friends I honestly think he would take it seriously and help me, granted im sure it will be awkward for him at first I think he'd do it.
I know the feeling. I'm not sure how my friend really interprets me but I know the feeling. It helps having at least one person in your corner.
Youtube is your best friend when it comes to learning how to do makeup :icon_bigg Good luck with the journey!
For me, minimal is best. Foundation to cover blemishes or a crummy too close shave job. Maybe lipstick for photos. I don't go anywhere fancy when presenting female. Possibly blush. But eyeshadow and eyeliner elude me...
I definitely want to touch up my eyes Eyeliner and eyeshadow are extremely attractive to me need to look into extensions to :x I have really short hair
Now, I don't really know much about make-up, because I never worn it despite being afab. But I DO know how it feels to figure out you're trans and then not knowing what to do. Only three people know I'm trans right now, and that includes my therapist. I'm trying to work up the courage to tell more people. But it's hard. I do know how scary it is, just thinking about telling people, for fear of reject and such. But it does help to come out to people. It's like a weight is taken off your shoulder, every time you tell someone. And buying the right clothes helps as well. Just make sure you take things slow enough for you. Don't try to rush it. The first people to tell are the ones who are closest to you and who you think will be the most accepting. But only tell them when you're ready to, and tell one person at a time. Not everyone at once. Trust me, there will be time to let everyone know eventually. As for the clothes, the "taking things slow" advice can help as well. I know you probably want a whole wardrobe of women's clothes right now, but it might be better to just buy one or two items at once. Because it can be scary trying to figure out what sizes you wear and actually going out and getting them. I've known I was trans for a while, and I've bought a few guys' clothes before I knew I was trans. But now that I actually know who I am, it's scary even setting foot in the men's section. So it might be a good idea just to get one or two items at a time, since it can sometimes be overwhelming to do it all at once. But of course, if you're comfortable enough with yourself already to go out and buy all the clothes you want, then don't hold back; get as many as possible. But if you're still having a hard time with self-confidence in public, then just take your time doing what's only small, comfortable things right now. The more you do small things, the more in general you'll be comfortable doing. Because it can be pretty nerve-wracking going out and buying the right clothes and such. I have a problem with buying clothes right now. As soon as I step into the men's section, I get all nervous and think a million eyes are staring me down XD
As far as buying clothes go, since it's pretty expensive to replace an entire wardrobe, I recommend shopping at thrift stores or places with really cheap clothes. There's cheap online stores too but I don't know how trust worthy they are. Also even though coming out is really hard and you're risking a lot, it only gets more and more depressing when you force yourself to stay in the closet and you can't express who you truly are. Talking to a therapist is probably a good idea
