Hi. I came to the realization that I might be transgender in October of last year. I have had feelings of being male since 7/8 ish years old. But I didn't put it together until I met a Transguy for the first time. However, since making this realization, I have been really anxious, which I making me think I'm wrong and that I'm not actually a guy. Is it normal to be more anxious after realizing/coming out as trans? I hear many people say they feel better, not more anxious/stressed. Thanks
I definitely got more stressed. There is a certain element of relief at finally realizing something like this, but overall I got way more stressed because I started thinking about all the challenges I would face if I transitioned and my dysphoria got a lot worse, so yeah I think it's normal.
Yeah, trust me. It's common. I actually got really depressed and anxious after I initially realized my gender. It was a huge relief but my dysphoria got a lot worse following that initial realization (being that now I had a name to put to my feelings) and I was constantly worrying that I wasn't trans enough to deserve to transition or my parents wouldn't accept me. You gotta give it time. Posting this was a good first step. It's not easy to 'get over' anxiety but given time, support it's possible. For me, that eventually diminished as I began coming out and adopting a male identity. I began the process of updating my wardrobe, trying to pass in public. And posting here on EC was a big part of that- helped having people I could bounce off of. And also, funny thing is, helped me come to terms with being trans when I gave myself the option of detransition should it turn out things change. When I stopped worrying that detransitioning was wrong or was a character fault, it made questioning my gender and coming to terms with things a lot less stressful and allowed me to realize that transition was what I personally wanted and what I knew would help me feel more at ease in my body once I had the option of 'going back' and knowing how that felt for me.
It certainly is normal, what most trans individuals never mention is the immeasurable amount of trials & tribulations that a trans person must face. The trans community is the highest of all in suicides... not only due to what can seem like unmanageable dysphoria, social stigmas, ostracism, Monetary funds for treatments, surgeries you name it. The trail is never as beautiful as one would describe, frankly because they would rather bury their history of such things deep down. As you gradually start to pass, and begin to take on a form more akin to other gender the dysphoria begins to calm down, and you begin to feel happy, euphoric if you would =)
I got signed off work for 3 months and entered the worst depression of my life when I figured it out...it's completely normal! Think about it, there is so much to be worried about, how could you avoid it!? I think when people say they felt better, they mean there was some relief about knowing why they can't look in mirrors, or that wearing the right clothes and acting right felt better. If it's right, those good feelings will come in time, just don't expect them to make all the bad stuff go away!
I got signed off work for 3 months and entered the worst depression of my life when I figured it out...it's completely normal! Think about it, there is so much to be worried about, how could you avoid it!? I think when people say they felt better, they mean there was some relief about knowing why they can't look in mirrors, or that wearing the right clothes and acting right felt better. If it's right, those good feelings will come in time, just don't expect them to make all the bad stuff go away!
