Yo, I'm FtM.. My mom refuses to wt me transition so I still look like a female.. But today I got an open invite to this pageant and I could win this scholarship, and I need a scholarship to even get close to the school of my dreams. But I also have bad dysphoria. So should I do this for the hell of the scholarship? I want it bad.. But I hate being in a female body already, and dolling me up making look like a Plastic, is it worth it? :bang:
Only you can answer that, but I'm inclined to say yes. Anything to get you some freedom to do what you want in the future...
Would you be able to cope with doing the pageant? Or would you go insane? I know i would if i was doing a male thing like that XD Is there any other ways you could get a scholarship or is this like the only way?
@Marshmallow I'd most likely go insane. This is the "easiest" way to get it, and get it over with. I could face it in the moment, it's kind of after I'm worried about.
If it's going to cause you LASTING pain, don't do it, I mean nothings harder than getting yourself ino an uncomfortable situation and then being forced to pretend you love it...
This is a definitely a tough decision - I'm sorry you are in this position. I don't feel at all qualified to advise you which way to go, but if you do decide to it, I do have one thought that I hope may help. I noticed that you mentioned "dolling up" and looking like a "Plastic" - suggesting that this would feel substantially further removed from your actual gender identity than a "regular" day spent presenting as the wrong gender would be. Forgive me if I am way off base here, but might it be possible that if you treated it like a costume party or part in a play or a performance art piece that something like a pageant might seem so far removed from reality that it may not be as triggering for your dysphoria? Again, please forgive me if I am off base - I obviously have no way of knowing what your dysphoria is like and am just trying to help if possible. Good luck with this difficult decision whatever you decide.
I wouldn't do it, I imagine that it would be only worth it if it was a sure bet that you would win, and even then it's a lot to go through. Plus Beauty pageants for young people kind of creep me out. I'm assuming your a minor because you said you don't have your moms support.
There are tons of other scholarships out there and even grants for college you could look into. Even a trans grant exist for college I have the link at home though
@ Stacy in MA I could do that. But my dysphoria is so weird.. Like for instance I love drag and could do drag. The only difference if I ever did drag at the end I de-drag and then see a male body. But as it is now, being only a minor I'd take all the off and still have this disgusting female body.. I'm kinda being pushed into it by my grandmother, I only want the scholarship, but all of them want me to be in pageant full time.
if it got me a scholarship leading to a good job and freedom to transition, i would. it would be just one more obstacle to overcome, one more chance to strengthen me to overcome the next one. good luck either way.
I'm kinda being pushed into it by my grandmother, I only want the scholarship, but all of them want me to be in pageant full time. That being the case, don't do it. At all. The last thing you want is to give them ammunition.
if doing it will make you feel bad and make you feel more uncomfortable in your body I think it would be better to look for other ways to get in to the school you want.
