I decided to write up a list of things I wanted to do ASAP, and things I may want to do (gender-wise) but am unsure about, and I realized that I can't picture my future living as a female anymore. At all. I knew I was thinking more and more about transitioning, but when I sat down to write out what I want to start doing, it just kind of hit me. I don't even know when it was I decided I was going to transition in the first place. I know I can't just do everything NOW and need to take things slowly, but I've made myself go almost an entire year just brooding and it feels like I've snapped and just want to press the magic button and transition already. I'll be back home from school in three days, and I just want to find a therapist and start transitioning. Tell my parents/sister and hit the ground running as soon as my plane lands. Get comfortable enough with my body to actually be in a relationship. Have the stupid guy at the cash register stop winking and flirting with me and pull my own damn suitcase off the shelf without five other guys offering to lend me a hand.
Hi there! I think starting to see a therapist who can not only answer your questions, but also guide you through the transitioning process is a very good idea. Talking with a therapist will also give you a chance to talk more about wanting to transition, and your deeper reasons and feelings about it. You will also be able to speak about becoming comfortable with your body, and related issues - such as self-confidence/self-esteem, coming out, etc... Having that support will be crucial. Take it step by step. I would suggest that you start speaking with the therapist, and then let things fall into place in their own time. Try not to rush from one thing to the next.
I agree that talking with a therapist would be a good idea. I'm in a similar position as you, by the way. I started questioning my gender back in September 2012, and throughout the last few months, I finally came to terms with being a guy. I've been talking to a therapist since February, mainly about my gender issues. I think I'm gonna need to get another one though, if I want help with transitioning, because she lives too far away from me to actually help me with letters for T and such. But it has helped a lot to have a professional that knows about trans people to talk to. I also haven't done anything at all yet, either. I've told four people, not including my therapist, but that's it. I'm trying to get the courage to tell everyone else. I haven't started hormones or gotten any surgeries, though. But I desperately want to. I'm getting sick of waiting, so I can definitely relate to what you're saying. What also might help is getting simple things: a shorter hair cut, if that's what you want. A binder, to make your chest smaller; a packer to get a bit of a bulge. I got a binder a few months ago, and that's helped me a bit. I also ordered a packer and just got it in the mail today. I haven't exactly gotten to try it out a ton, since I just got it today. But I have worn it around the house most of the day, and I admit it feels awesome having something there! Haha So even if you can't do anything, like hormones or surgery yet if that's what you want to do, you can at least try simple things like binding and packing, and see how that feels. It might make you a little happier
