I was wondering, for those of you who have gone through hormones and transitioned, did you notice significant differences in how people perceived you now that you pass as a man or woman? For example, for ftms did you realize some thing about living the male experience in society? etc. I hope this made sense and I hope I worded things appropriately.
Not actually answering your question, just pointing out something for the sake of accuracy. Hormones / surgery won't MAKE a person pass, and you don't necessarily need either to pass anyway.
Yeah, I pass pretty well for male too. It can be hit or miss just depending on who I'm around. I'm still pre-T but I've had a hair cut which made huge difference and once I began changing my wardrobe and figuring out what worked best, I began to pass about 70% of the time. The only 'dead giveaway' tends to be my voice. But even that's gotten a little better. It really just depends on who I'm around. In one class, I got she'd by a classmate and my professor. In another, everyone 'he's' me. Just kinda depends on how you're perceived by that particular person. I've fond when I'm passing, I'll get a lot of guys nodding at me. And when I was presenting female, people used to check me out and generally thought I was a young 15 year old. I was also really self conscious and awkward as a female. Still awkward but now, I have a lot less trouble asking people for directions or being out in public. Hate being misgendered but often-times, either people will properly gender me or they'll avoid pronouns all together.
Don't know if this addresses OP's question or not, but ... Ever since I came out to myself and made the decision that I'm going to transition, I've become hugely aware of a bunch of new stuff, like ... Just how poisonous, pervasive and just plain expensive the whole beauty-industrial-complex is -- I mean, aisles and aisles of "beauty products" whose sole purpose is to convince us that we're not young/pretty/feminine/cool/hot enough. Or how Gillette will market the same razor to men and women, but add an extra mark-up to the price of the women's model -- because it's pink and lavender, I guess? And the differences in how my coworkers interact with our male vs our female colleagues. (I was somewhat aware of some of that before, but now I'm intensely aware of it.)
Oh how you are so right lol. After just one trip to the cosmetics section of a store, and after just one attempt to shave body hair and put on makeup... I instantly became more respecting of what women go through on a daily basis. Very costly, and very time consuming.
^ Great examples. Although I haven't yet decided if I'm going to transition (I'm on the fence), just getting to this point has given me a whole new POV on things. For example, though harboring latent (and not-so-latent) trans feelings all my life, I never really understood the big to-do trans people (especially, it seems, transwomen) made about chasers. The whole chaser phenomenon seemed to my backwards self almost a blessing for trans folk, since it otherwise seemed like it would be incredibly difficult for them to find romantic prospects as it was. I now see that this was my closeted self projecting my own insecurities, since I worried (and still do!) that no one would ever want me as a transperson. Moreover, since I've now had some experience with the chasing phenomenon myself, I finally grasp what's so unpleasant about it; i.e., the frickin' obvious--you feel like a piece of meat rather than a person. Getting creeped on, I felt dirty, tarnished. I wanted to (and did, lol) take a shower. It's a feeling I hope I never experience again (although I suspect I will :rolle.
On the few occasions that I've managed to pass as a man, I've noticed that boys talk to me more in a casual-friendly kind of way rather then an awkward-starey kind of way.
Honestly, guys were more outwardly polite and nice to me. In general of course, there are still plenty of jerks! I found in a professional setting, some men assume I'm less competent because I'm a woman. Just general chivalry and sexist stuff lol. That's what I learned if you can say that's learned.
What I find ironic, is that in the massage therapy field, people treat therapists male or female with a high degree of sexism. Males "are just violent, aggressive types that want to hurt me" and females "are weak and wont give me a good massage; sex objects, "I'm going to behave inappropriately as a client, because you're female therapist"; "bitch where's my 'happy ending...?' " Even while I was in school prior to getting my license, had a few clients (which I wasn't getting paid for) in our in-school massage work, who insisted on having a female therapist rather than give me a fair chance. That said, massage is predominantly a female profession. And yet, I was drawn to it......
Personally, I wouldn't mind either sex giving me a massage. If they do a good job! One guy I was with briefly gave the best massages, not erotic ones, just really good massages that made my back feel better. I've worked on both stereotypically male and female jobs. Makeup artist and computer programmer. Sexism was rampant at both jobs. My co-worker Izzy was easily the best artist in the store but because he was male some people didn't want him doing their makeup. Some people thought I was clueless with programming and manufacturing because I'm a woman, until they see me work! It's just sad that we can advance so far as a society but get stuck on things like sexism.
