I came out to my mum a couple weeks ago and we talked about it and stuff- she's been to the GP and talked about options for therapy, but she's still treating me very much female. She hasn't even mentioned transition. I feel like I need to transition in order to feel like I really want to live though and I wish she could see that. How do I approach the topic lightly with her? And how should I actually tell her? Any help is much appreciated.
Nobody fucking gets it... I sympathize with your plight. (I say sympathize instead of empathize because I'm not out to my family yet.) I wish I could offer some constructive advice. But it seems gender dysphoria is little more than an absurd joke to 99.9% of the world. I don't know to make family take it seriously. I don't know what I'm going to do when it comes time for me to spill my guts to them. I guess the only thing I can think of to convince them that it isn't just some random "weirdness" unique to you is to point them to several online sources such as EC to show them that gender dysphoria is very much a REAL thing and that MILLIONS suffer from it. People need to somehow have their little bubbles pricked and wake up to a reality that is much bigger and more complex than the one they've encased themselves in. Sorry. (*hug*)
How do I approach the topic lightly with her? To put it simply, you can't, because this isn't one of those topics you can bring up, chat about for ten minutes and move on with. This is hard hitting stuff, even for the most accepting people. What you CAN do, is limit the 'damage'. I say damage, because I want to be realistic, not because I want to scare you. When I told my mum, there was damage done that can never be repaired. It wasn't how I wanted to tell her, it sure as heck wasn't how I planned to tell her, she dragged it out of me. Now don't get me wrong, I meant every word I said during those months. Everything I said was exactly how I felt. But so help me what I wouldn't give to be able to go back and say them a different way. Damage was done. Whatever you do, you need to think through what you are going to say and think about the impact it might have. Telling your mum you need to transition in order to live is going to worry her. It might scare her. It may ever freak her out. This isn't something I imagine she has a lot of experience with and your conversation could go in a lot of strange and unexpected directions. Plan what you need to say. Think about how she might respond and plan some back-ups. Practice calming yourself down, because if she says something you don't like, it's going to hit hard, and you don't want to respond to it if you can help it. Write down your key points. What does 'transition' mean for you. What will you actually DO? What will you need HER to do? What will you need other people to do? What will she need to tell people? and the most important one of all... WHY is this so important to you!
