So I recently came out to most of my friends. I would really love to start dressing more femininely and start wearing makeup when I go in public, but I look very masculine. I'm nervous that if I do go out in feminine clothes and with makeup I'll look ridiculous. I guess I just need a way to be more confident in myself about this. I'm terrified that if I go out in public someone will mention how I look to me. I want to express myself and be the pretty girl that I know I am, but I'm too scared that I'll look like a freak to do so. :help: Any help or advice you could give on how to build up my confidence would be great. Or perhaps, how you began dressing as your appropriate gender in public. Thanks everyone
Small steps are the key! The #1 component to passing is your own confidence. So at first, take it slow. Start with small accessories at first and then gradually develop your style. My MtF friend started by putting her hair up every day, and now she dresses very femininely! As a trans person it can be really hard to feel comfortable in your own skin, because dysphoria can be so crushing. So that's why it's SUPER important to take it slow, because people are more likely to inspect you if you look nervous or uncomfortable. I'm sorry I can't help as well as I want to because I'm FtM and there isn't as much stigma on us if we dress out of the norm of our assigned sex, but I'll try! 1) Dress up at home, whenever you have the time. Get comfortable in clothes you want to wear. Wear them around the house. I know when I put on my favorite jeans I instantly feel better about myself. Get comfortable with it at home before wearing outside! 2) Have your friends call you by the right name and pronouns. That's pretty self explanatory I guess, it can be an instant confidence boost on a bad day. 3) Go out with a friend you really trust, and make them promise to call you the right name/pronouns during the excursion, and to correct strangers. This would preferably be somewhere you might not see people you know. Being gendered correctly by strangers is the best thing. You're a strong young woman going through big changes and it may seem really scary sometimes but remember that you've already been through so much. You were strong enough to make it all the way here, and now you can begin to be yourself. good luck Seige!
Small steps is key. Start growing your hair out. Toss out all your undershirts, replace with female camisoles, by pants made for females and use them instead. Plenty of teen males wear tight jeans, most of them getting by without a harsh word. Also consider some wigs to go with your face style, picking the right hair style is as important as your makeup ;P Also if they're not already, get your ears pierced! If you have master a tucking/taping technique and are comfortable tucking all day, wear female panties instead of tighty-whities or boxers I started to build my confidence by taking night walks all jazzed up. It really helped! When I was confident enough to make the transition, I did. Close friends had issues recognizing me, people I saw alot beforehand knew off the bat lol but it is all about erasing your male self from peoples minds, presenting as female and staying that way helps a ton It will however take a while for you to see yourself differently in the mirror... You could be all set for a day of working or going out as a woman, look great then looking into a mirror still just see your old male self. It happens to me sometimes and I hate it... But that stems from the dysphoria... Alot of people say I pass, so you just have to go o, there word. They haven't spent X years looking in the mirror ;D
Thanks. This is fabulous advice, I think I'm going to start by making at least one small chanhe every two weeks. Do you think that would be too fast? Id really love to start going out as a girl, I mean I don't have serious dysphoria, I just don't want to waste any more days acting and dressing like someone I'm not. That's a really good point Claudette, thanks. I'm always going to be the hardest person to pass to. Partly because I tend to be harsh on myself, and partly because Ive stared at my ugly "male self" for so long. In your experiance, has it helped avoidimg mirrors, especially when you're not dressed as your appropriate gender? Thank you so much for all your help.
First thing in the morning is the worst, when I see some stubble. I tend to sleep with my makeup on so... lol. Leaves a mark on my pillow but bleh easier to deal with that than depression lol. Also as time has gone by, I will "check" myself out during the day to make sure I still resemble a woman during my work hours lol and its alot easier now then when I first started. Sometimes I am even,attracted to what I see in the mirror, when my makeup is on point lol
Aww that's wonderful. I'm actually going out to the movies with a few of my friends tommorow, and I'm really excited because it's going to be my first day "out" in public. Do you really think it would be ok for me to ask my friend to correct any possible strangers?( I still don't have that much of a wardrobe built up so I'm probably going to look decidedly male )
May I barge in for a second? Correcting strangers should not be done straight up. If someone messes up, work it in, don't point it out. Stranger would say "He has great hair." Your friend would say "Yes, SHE loves head and shoulders". Something that people should catch on to. Instead of correcting point blank. ^w^
Haha ok. I wouldn't want to be a jerk. Honestly, I'm just really thrilled that all my friemds are willing to call me by my name.
hey that's great news! I'm sure it will go great. it's okay if you're not comfortable having your friends correct people at first. It's important to go at your own pace! also yeah with correcting, people usually don't need much of a push. If you're too aggressive about it they'll feel like they offended you and stuff might get awkward. being passive is important because it allows people to correct themselves.
Aww, Siege. Wish I could give you a hug and take you out shopping. Glad you've got great friends. Enjoy your day out, out.
Ok. I'm feeling so wonderfully about myself guys. one of my friends bought me a set o panties, and its AMAZING how much a difference it makes. Just a change as small as my underwear, which no one sees.
Thanks, all of you. Joining this community has been one of the better things I've done with my life. Everyone here has been wonderful.
