Hey peeps. Here's the story. I am in the process of legally changing my last name. I am a graduate student (Master's/hopeful PhD candidate) who doesn't want her work to be associated with her biological father's family name - since I have no ties with that family. This way, I can be comfortable publishing in academic journals, my thesis, and advancing my academic career using my gender last name (and this part of my identity). However, while I am in the process of changing this part of my identity, I am ALSO considering the legal change of my first name. I figure that it would give me a sense of power over my identity, since my legal identity and gender identity would be one in the same; only my sex would not match these (and this is really a small issue, my "sex" no longer would require a name, right?) Or would it? My only worry is ramifications for being hired still presenting as male and being sexually male with a legally female name. Also, the ramifications of my parents. While they do say they accept who and what I am; their behaviour does belie the fact that they treat me as male and identify me as a son. Such a confusing thing! HELP! I really want to do this, but I'm worried about the ramifications.
Good point. I guess the main reason I want to do this is to take legal "control" of my identity. In essence - to match my legal identity with myself. That mismatch hurts, and it really hurts to have it thrown in my face by certain people in my life. "Well, what does it say on your birth certificate?! Well then that's who you are!" Not that I should do this to shut them up... But I do want to do this for me as well, to take the legal self and help it to match the rest of me. I have no desire (yet) to get the sexual me to match. Maybe someday I will.
I'm not sure how the legal name change thing works in the US, so just clear something up for me. If you have a name change hearing, does it change the name one your birth certificate?
So correct me if I've got this wrong, but your concern is this: If you change your name LEGALLY, you are worried about applying for jobs and someone going "That sounds like a girls name" when they see 'male' on your forms, correct?
Yeah. I'm worried about those kinds of ramifications. Also the ramifications it has with my family life. While they claim acceptance. (And I think I'm making progress, for instance, my mother has indicated that the reason she calls me by my sex name is because it's what she has always called me, but she does KNOW what I want to be called and she's sorry. But she does think of me as a daughter. It is progress, I guess. It's hard to change a 65 year old. XD)
OK, so we'll start with work. You are who you are, ok. I assume (and you can correct me at any time) that if you are not already, you will be living full time at some point in your life as a woman. Which means eventually you are going to have to go to an employer and have that whole "looks like a woman, but signed the form as a dude" thing going on regardless of your name. Honestly, if it bothers your employer that much, the name is the least of your worries. If there are any employers out there who would get so hung up that a 'man' has a 'girls name' according to some forms that they won't employ you, you don't want to work for them. So honestly I wouldn't worry about that too much. As for your family...frankly it doesn't matter. As you say, it's your life, it's your name and you need it to match who YOU are.
Ellia. You are amazing. Thank you for your advice. I knew this. I knew it. I just really needed someone to validate it for me. Thank you SO SO MUCH.
The process is different from state to state. I'm certain at some point Brad can chime in with what he went thru in Ohio, and I used to work with name changes in Michigan. In Michigan, you file a petition with the Circuit Court, if you are over 22 you get your fingerprints taken for a background check, after that a court date is set, and a publication is prepared for you to take to the local newspaper. After that, you show up for the court date, the judge takes a little testimony, and orders the name change. You can request your name be changed on your birth certificate, and if the judge grants that, you send the paperwork off to the state for that. Total cost about 200-300, depending on if fingerprints or a new birth certificate are requested. Keep in mind you'll have to go to every place you want your name changed with a copy (generally a certified copy) of the order and update your name there, as there isn't a central location to change your name everywhere (though you probably want to start with your BMV and Social Security)
