Hey guys. Well, like the title says, I've been recently feeling like I maybe am the wrong gender. I've felt small things most of my teenage years but just recently I've started to feel it a little more strongly. Well, for starters, I am a girl. I identify as pansexual. I do tend to be attracted more to females. But I find attraction to any gender. Anyways, I've found myself feeling like I should be male. I feel like I should have been born a male and would be much happier if I was. I feel as though I would be more attracted toward guys though still identify as pansexual if I was a male. Is that possible? Or weird? Even now, as a female, I'm not attracted to guys as a female, but as a gay male. Has anyone else felt this way or anything? I feel sort of alone and very confused.
Your sexuality has nothing to do with gender. They are two seperate things. So let's just erase that from the bored. Some questions you'd have to ask yourself is (1) Can you see yourself 10 years from now as a male or female? Are you happy? (2) How do you feel when called feminine pronouns? Happy? Upset? (3) If you could wake up male tomorrow, would you? How does the possibility make you feel? (4) Do any female parts of your body seem alien to you? Then there are non binary genders. The gray areas in between. Like Agender, Bigender, Genderfluid. (I don't know too much about these) But basically, they are the in betweens. Only you can decide. We can only face you in a direction. I didn't know gender from sexuality up until a little while ago, so you aren't alone. ^w^ (p.s, it isn't wierd)
I wish it was so cut and dry, However no one's experience will be the same, but Confusedatheart has some great advice, he's pretty wise for his age. Now the thing is, I used to feel the same way... Those feelings, when I was a teen were so easy to repress... but in my 20s I turned to the bottle, they got too strong. A year and a half ago my Pee-Paw passed away at 89 from a stroke, and this broke me. I was drunk (with my family) for 2 straight weeks after his funeral, breakfast,lunch,dinner beer beer beer. When I came to terms with his loss about 4 months later, I was still depressed... angry... a cocktail of emotions waiting to be provoked. One day at work I snapped, needless to say I lost my job from it but... hey whatever I found another. Anyways my Grandfather's death caused me to loose control over those feelings of not being normal, of being a freak. So after General Therapy, I was directed to Gender therapy... I found one online who was close, and she helped me work with coming to terms of who I was, at about the same time I joined this site =) Now that I have bored you to death, Allow me to add to what Confused said Hating your body, how you look, sex equipment, etc are a few signs If you could be any gender what would you be? this is a permanent thing, so make sure you're sure! Dysphoria is a sure thing to identify you as Transgender, however it isn't always present. and it's power varies from day to day; person to person. You should dwell on what Confused said, it you feel you need clarification, seeking out a Gender Therapist is a good start =)
I agree. A Gender Therepist would be a good idea. (I'm sorta looking for one myself, but not certain how I'd pay for it) I know for me, dysphoria comes and goes, sometimes I'm perfectly content with what I've got. Most of the time, I'm sorta meh, though. And, if I'm thinking similar to you, I get what you mean when you say you aren't attracted to guys as a girl, but as a gay guy. I know it's not unusual for me to be more interested in girls when I'm feeling like one than when I'm meh, or feeling like a guy.
I'm hoping that I can give you a little bit of insight. I don't know if this will help or not because everyone's thoughts and journey is different. I am bisexual and I see myself as male. I do not see myself as female (even though I am physically) and whoever I'm attracted to, I am a bisexual male being attracted to a male or a female. Unfortunately, others don't see me this way so it's very hard to be who I am around others. Just know that everything is possible, that nothing is cookie cutter, nothing is categorized and you should just be who you want to be. If how you feel doesn't fit anywhere, then that's fine because it shouldn't have to. Whatever you feel is whatever you feel.
I sort of understand what you mean because before I realized I was trans, I was definitely attracted to men but I couldn't see myself with one (didn't want to be the "girl" in the relationship), and couldn't view myself as a straight girl with a guy.
