Not 100% sure what kind of genderqueer I am

Recently, the definition I came up with for myself is gender ambivalent, meaning that I don't care what gender I am. But in a way, maybe it's more that I don't care about my biological sex, because I still kind of would like a name for it. All my life when someone told me what a great young man I was I would cringe a little, but when I grew my hair out, people started mistaking me for a woman, and I liked this a bit better. I found a list of gender stereotypes, with 12 for men and 12 for women. From masculine I had 6 traits, from women I had 11 of the traits. You can find the list here. I agree with the characteristic that I have more feminine than masculine traits, despite being biologically male. My mind is a combination of right and left brained with both sides being very strong.

I pee sitting down(sorry tmi), and I'm very sensitive and cry a lot. But like a man I am strong, both of will and physically. I would desire to protect what I love, rather than let it protect me. Unlike a woman, I would never wear make-up, and I don't spend a lot of time caring for my physical appearance, although when I lose weight I want to start dressing nicely. I am very direct with my opinions, and I am stubborn. I also have some other intangible parts of me that feel more masculine. It's worth noting that for every masculine and feminine trait I have, I have countless others that are unusual, and yet not characteristic of masculinity or femininity, like traits to describe a different gender entirely, or no gender. The traits like this are most dominant in me. For example, I've never been angry for longer than 5 minutes or held a grudge. I would gladly sacrifice myself to save someone I care about, and I am extremely charismatic and charming. I feel like my primary source of energy and emotion is neither masculine nor feminine in nature, although both of those are a part of me. Sometimes I feel more masculine than feminine, and sometimes it's the other way around, but I don't think that happens often enough to be gender fluid.

I hate looking like a man, but I don't want to become a woman either. I think what I would really want is an androgynous appearance. I wouldn't want to look like a woman, but I looking like a man is even worse. My current manner of dress is t-shirts and sweatpants, which they make for either gender, and feminine accessories. I went through a short period of time where I tried to be more gender conforming, and my hair is still growing back from that. I like it at a length that would be long for a man, but short for a woman. If I lose my androgynous appearance when I lose weight, I would want to take hormones to get my body to look right, and it would be nice to have hormones that would stop hair growth.

So what am I, Androgynous, Bigender, trigender, pangender, agender, gender fluid, or part of a third or even fourth gender entirely?

I kind of like the sound of trigender, because sometimes I feel masculine, sometimes I feel feminine, but most of the time I feel like something else entirely.

I'm aware that to a lot of people, any of these genders sounds weird/stupid, but I'm not sure how else to describe myself.

Should I just stick to genderblind/ambivalent? It covers my view of the world and other people, but I'm not sure anymore if it covers my own gender.

Ps. I took a SAGE test and it said I was androgynous with everything except the way I socialize which was feminine.

 

I would go with whatever makes you feel most comfortable and go with which ever you feel encapculates your feelings to the fullest extent

 

I think the ones I like the most are trigender, third gender, and androgyne, but I'm not sure which to pick. I feel like it shouldn't be drawing names out a hat, It should be something that completely fits me.

---------- Post added 30th May 2014 at 07:17 AM ----------

Gender in Bugis society - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I kind of feel like a bissu, but there's no english word for that.

I've come up with an entirely new term that might fit me, I'm a male tomboy. I'd like to find an existing term though, rather than make one up.

---------- Post added 30th May 2014 at 07:23 AM ----------

Also I'd like to point out that I've probably felt like this for my entire life, I renamed myself to something gender neutral when I was 5.

 

Nevermind I think I found it online, I'm a demiguy. Someone assigned male at birth, but feels only the barest association to masculinity, but is non binary and not female enough to justify transition.