1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Being trans means having to come out to the same person more than once

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Techno Kid, May 30, 2014.

  1. Techno Kid

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2013
    Messages:
    1,635
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Southeastern Ontario, Canada, Earth
    Would you guys agree that is usually the case?

    For a lot of people I came out to, it seems that I am not really out at all (espesially with my parents). Like my dad called me "man" (while waking me up) on the day I was going to wear that green skirt in my profile pic, out the door on the way to school. I still wore at school, but changed there.
    I could not get mad (or even mention it) about it though because he was so nice while waking me up. :/ He acts like I'm being crazy when I do mention it. :frowning2:

    Today has been a good day though, overall!! ^___^ Felt so pretty in my skirt! Also used the girl's bathroom at school today for the first time (first time ever, not just at school)! :grin:
    BTW when I told my mom on the way home how happy I felt using the girl's room, we got in a bit of a fight about it. :/
     
  2. Gates

    Gates Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2014
    Messages:
    1,544
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Between paradise and nothingness
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    (*hug*) (*hug*)
     
  3. justjade

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2013
    Messages:
    395
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North Canton, Ohio, US
    Yeah, I think you're right. I've had to come out more than once to the same person. I have to commend you on your bravery though. I'm not brave enough to set foot in the men's room, even though I'm pretty sure I could swing it. I feel ya, though. Every time I bring up that I'm a guy, my sister treats me like I'm crazy. Hang in there, hon. It'll get better. It may get worse before it gets better, but it will get better. (*hug*)
     
  4. drwinchester

    drwinchester Guest

    Yeah, for sure. (*hug*) That was pretty much my case. I mean, I was out. But I wasn't, if that makes any sense. It was a weird, kinda surreal experience. I lived a double life at home and on campus. My coming out was honestly just getting myself a hair cut- it was real masculine and I finally passed as male. That opened the flood gates.

    I think with a lot of people, until you start actively transitioning or presenting, it's one of those things people tend to sweep under the rug. Because unless they have that evidence, it's not in their reality. And unfortunately, often coming out means proving it.

    And that doesn't have to just be a trans* thing. For a lot of people, they might not see you as, say, gay if you're not bringing a guy home.
     
  5. Kasey

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,385
    Likes Received:
    162
    Location:
    The Commonwealth of Massachusetts
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So many feels....

    I literally had a 2nd coming out today to my friend. He did reaffirm that no one should live in darkness and I need to tell more people. I shouldn't hold it in if it's part of me.

    I'm wondering if he would be comfortable being seen in public with me yet.
     
  6. BelleFromHell

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2014
    Messages:
    1,893
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Charleston, SC
    I agree. I've come out to my great-grandmother twice and she constantly asks me why I don't have a boyfriend... :frowning2:
    I'm sure lots of trans people deal with the same thing.

    P.S. (*hug*)
     
  7. Techno Kid

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2013
    Messages:
    1,635
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Southeastern Ontario, Canada, Earth
    (&&&)

    ---------- Post added 30th May 2014 at 08:03 PM ----------

    Thanks Jade! :slight_smile: (*hug*)
     
  8. justjade

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2013
    Messages:
    395
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North Canton, Ohio, US
    I know, right? It's like they're hoping we'll change our minds or something.

    ---------- Post added 30th May 2014 at 08:04 PM ----------

    No probs. I got your back. :thumbsup:
     
  9. Techno Kid

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2013
    Messages:
    1,635
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Southeastern Ontario, Canada, Earth
    (*hug*) Thanks :slight_smile: And yeah that's true, it is not just a trans thing.

    ---------- Post added 30th May 2014 at 08:10 PM ----------

    I'm glad. :slight_smile:
    Ask him! :grin:

    ---------- Post added 30th May 2014 at 08:12 PM ----------

    That must really suck. :frowning2: It really does not make sense. (*hug*)
     
    #9 Techno Kid, May 30, 2014
    Last edited: May 30, 2014
  10. AudreyB

    AudreyB Guest

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2013
    Messages:
    1,744
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Atlanta, GA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    There is such an "otherworldy" quality in the eyes on many about being transgender that the knee-jerk reaction (even by some of the self-styled "enlightened") is one of disbelief and "going to their humor battle-stations" about it. This is understandable to a point, since it seems the vast majority of people are completely cisgender and have taken theirs for such granted as to be unable to fathom a sex-gender mismatch in another. Still, it's obvious to see the frustration is causes my fellow trans brothers and sisters and it's only something that time and education in a slowly-evolving culture has a chance to redress.

    In the meantime, for those that will inevitably doubt their senses witnessing me before them in a dress and heels, I am mentally preparing for these multiple "come outs" by reminding myself of all the times I had to convince myself that I was transgender. And I can be one stubborn fuck. :grin:

    ---------- Post added 30th May 2014 at 08:15 PM ----------

    You're just confused. (Like you've been for the past two whole decades.) :rolle:
     
  11. Techno Kid

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2013
    Messages:
    1,635
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Southeastern Ontario, Canada, Earth
    Thanks Audrey! (*hug*)
    Yeah we have to give people time even though it sucks.
     
  12. looking for me

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    3,791
    Likes Received:
    869
    Location:
    on the Rock, Newfoundland and Labrador
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    well ive only told my counselor and you all about my sexuality and dressing but i think i do understand you.
    Glad you had a good day.(*hug*)

    BTW thats a really cute skirt.
     
  13. Techno Kid

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2013
    Messages:
    1,635
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Southeastern Ontario, Canada, Earth
    You can get through this! (*hug*) And thankies! ^ ^