Basically since I was about 13 i've been interested in wearing girls clothes and i've always rather sexually enjoyed the thought of having sex dressed as a girl, and later on I started enjoying the idea that I was forced to wear them in some sort of BDSM kind of way, but the thing is after alot of thought I feel like I might be a Trans Girl but im really unsure because im into this type of BDSM a little and it makes me feel like I am just some weird pervert that convinced themselves that they are Trans so that I dont have to face the embarassment of my fetish but I dont know I've dressed up as a girl since I was 5 and it was only sexual since puberty im really confused about all this. Basically does liking BDSM Forced Crossdressing mean that I am not Trans or can I be into (Sissy) stuff and still actually be a Trans Girl?
It takes all types. You can be into sissy stuff and be trans, the only thing you need to look at is how you would rather see your self, put everything aside, except how you feel the happiest as the world perceives you. Would you rather be a boy or rather be a girl? would you rather have a penis or a vagina? All the other stuff is just normal sexual fetishes. I for one, have a thing about being tied up, but that wasn't anything to look at when I was thinking "Hey I might be a woman"
Personally I don't see why those two things shouldn't be separate. Forgive me if I'm wrong, because I'll be the first to admit I don't know a huge amount about the subject, but the purpose of BDSM isn't to make you do things you actually hate, is it...it's about the feeling of control or lack of it, rather than actually making you feel terrible...is that right?
It is possible that you could be transgendered. I don't believe in telling people whether they can "be this even if I like this" because the choice is yours. At this point, you sound to me like a drag queen. (Nothing wrong at all with that.) Drag queens dress up as women for enjoyment but then live as men in their ordinary lives. What I will say is don't actually start taking hormones and transitioning before you're certain that you actually want to be a girl. It would be horrible if you transitioned too early and then realised that it's not who you are. Either way, I wish you the best of luck figuring things out.
Kind of. Drag expression, transsexuality, and dominance / submission, are all independent. Dominance and submission roles are a huge turn off for me personally - outside the bedroom and especially in - but I have friends that are more into that stuff. From what I understand the turn on for people that enjoy the submissive role is supposed to be a little like being in line for - or on - a roller coaster. I also understand that there are serious ethical issues, especially surrounding consent, and a couple doing this kind of stuff needs to be very careful and aware of those things. There is also a culture out there that likes combining submission with drag expression. This community throws words around like "sissy". Again, massive turn off on top of massive turn off for me! But I can at least try to understand. Basically some of the fun - and this is where the overlap is, I do think this would be lost for someone that went through transition - is in fact subverting gender roles. But just as cis women can be drag - not drab, drag - performers, there are a lot of cis women that can enjoy (ugh) "sissy play" like what the OP is describing. So by extension I think a transsexual woman could as well. But yeah, comparing "sissy play" with the decision to transition, is a little like comparing food sex with the decision to transition.
If simply dressing in women's clothing/ being treated as a woman causes arousal, that's a transvestitic fetish (not judging, just being technical). However, if you feel that you are a girl but simply enjoy exaggeratedly-"feminine" submissiveness, then you're just a girl with a kinky side.
I think it might be useful if I added some background: Basically from as young as 4 I have not only dressed as a girl sometimes but also wished that I was a girl and prayed to God to make me a girl, through out my life I would go into the girls bathroom and "borrow" my sisters clothes. I have continued to do so right up to modern day but just like when I was a kid I do it privately and when noone is around. The off bit comes in when I was reaching adolesence and the activity of dressing up suddenly began to take a sexual form where I would (as I said before) get arroused to the idea of being with someone whilst wearing these clothes and over time this became more and more and it steadily picked up a level of forced cross dressing but then there was always this part at the back of my mind that didnt think of it as merely a sexual thing but as something that made me feel better as a person, however as soon as I...finished I would usually find the feeling subside very quickly and be left in a state of total self hatred that would last a few hours afterwards. Aside from all this though I would find myself randomly in the middle of school or walking somewhere thinking about what'd it be like to be a girl and wishing that I had been born a girl right up until it began to hurt to think about it and I would usually dress up that day if it did happen. I have been depressed since I was 4 and it has only gotten worse especially through my puberty years. The thing is I hate myself and feel so crap when I do that BDSM stuff and I just hate myself and my body for hours afterwards. But the thing is when I think about the "sissy-play" (I really wish there was a better word for it) I think of myself in very girls frilly soft stuff but when I think of transitioning and actually think of becoming a girl I think of myself as a tom-boy esque girl that wears band tees and has a rather masculine rock-chick look in fact when I think about transition I am usually more thinking about physical traits like breasts and hips and things and I actually dont feel like I would actually dress much differently if I did Transition than I do right now.
Hey first I feel bad for how I came across. I really feel like I dropped the ball as far as making you comfortable. Sissy-play is just fine. My feelings are largely because there are some people associate that stuff with the female role naturally - as in all the time - and have a hard time accepting me as a woman sometimes because that stuff is not my bag. I had intended to say things in a "this is cool just not for me" tone, but I really don't feel like I did. Femininity and submissiveness are definitely cool things in my book. I don't think we should crap on those any more than masculinity and dominance. And I guess there is a real danger for people like me to do just that without realizing it. There's room for all at the inn. So, please accept my humble apology. That out of the way, I think you did a great job explaining yourself. Who we are in the bedroom and who we are in the living room are different for basically everyone. At least a lot more in the way of people than will ever admit it. Straight guys, for instance, that aren't attracted to men and would have happy relationships with women with no problems, that want to be "pegged", get people questioning their sexuality if they admit as much in the open. People will assume that I'm into that kind of thing because I'm a woman - pegging is on my list of stuff that does not work - and just about everyone I could possibly be with romantically risks having their sexuality questioned just for being with me. Even a lot of us in the LGBT community look at a lot of kinks people have, and really just don't understand them at all. So I mean, if you are trans, you are trans, and if you like being incredibly girly - like Lisa Frank girly - in the bedroom, then that's what you like. There are probably a lot of cis women that are exactly like that too. ---------- Post added 3rd Jun 2014 at 05:20 PM ---------- Also, So I usuuuaaaallly look a lot more feminine than this any more. But, I read that and thought "oh wow". See I uploaded this pic of me not too long ago
Um... Have you actually looked at half of my album pictures? If you could see me right now I would perfectly describe me.
