Love life

Lately I have been feeling that i too want to give birth, idk call it that female nature clock, idk I want a kid... I too also want someone to hold, and kiss and cook for... I have never been in a relationship on valentines day, ever lol idk I am cursed... but when I think of a relationship... anyone that's understanding of who I am would be nice. Hopefully even another trans person...

 

Yeah. I can't say I know a 100% where you're coming from but it hits home. I want to be a good brother, nephew, son- one day an uncle, husband and maybe father. I want a relationship with the right person. And damn it, I want to make something of myself.

I think a lot of us, me definitely included, have this idea that because we're trans, we're incapable of leading 'normal' lives or even being loved.

And I can't say that it's necessarily easier to find that when you're trans because honestly, especially in our society, we might have to do a lot more hunting to find the same opportunities that Average Joe (or Josephine) would have.

But that's the thing. It's not impossible.

Your worth isn't determined by an organ or a letter on a certificate. Not to delve into platitudes, but honestly it's about how you live and what you do with your time.

Hang in there. (*hug*)

 

"How are you going to take female hormones. They're not gonna work! You'd be lucky if you got be a good looking female. But the rate of success is not that high. If you can pull it off, good for you. But i think transitioning is a horrible idea"

Monika, if I EVER meet your brother I'm going to punch the nose off his face.

Not just because he's insulting little termite, but because he's just so fucking wrong I wonder how his brain didn't just jump out of his head screaming "If you're not going to fucking use me, I'll go somewhere else".

I'm in the middle of one of my rare streaks of ego, and I'll be honest I'm enjoying it. Confidence, as it turns out, is pretty cool.

Look at me. Look at my pictures. Look at my face. Know that my body and your body are very similar in size and shape (although you carry it off better).

I'm not perfect in so many ways, but you know what, I am so absolutely confident I can find someone. Not just anyone. I don't want and would not accept just anyone. I am confident I can, and will, find someone I genuinely like and who likes me for who I am and treats me how I deserve to be treated.

I may not be perfect, but damn it, I'm not the hideous disfigured troll I sometimes make myself out to be.

Why am I sitting here bragging about how great I'm feeling when you're feeling so crappy?

Because like it or not, you pull the whole thing off better than me. I refuse to believe we live in such a world were I could find someone and you couldn't, but if it DOES happen it'll be because I randomly found confidence, and you let yours go (and I genuinely can't believe I said that, because if you'd told me these were going to be my words even 6 months ago I'd have laughed until I DIED).

One of the things i always wanted to do was to have a date on Valentine's day. Where i could make the best meal ever for the person that cared about me. Once after we have a candlelight dinner i could kiss them for dessert. And cuddle with them for the night.

You'll have this one day, and so will I. Just don't drag yourself down(*hug*)

 

Hormones may not result in a magical transformation but they sure take care of some stuff, and for some people it does wonders for self esteem.

Once you're more comfortable with yourself, you become more confident. And people love confidence.

I think you should worry about your own well being before finding someone. Don't listen to your brother! If transitioning is right for you, then you should go ahead and do it!

 

Aw, sis. (*hug*) I can relate to these feelings in too many ways. It's funny how you don't see the undeserved negativity in your own thoughts until you see them reflected by another you care about.

We will talk about this and cry about this. I'm always a listening ear (and good hugger!). Please don't be so down on yourself, you're truly beautiful, and it's a beauty that goes much more than skin deep.

Take care of yourself, sis. (*hug*)

 

To be honest...

I'm at the point I just don't give a fuck about committing to a "normal" relationship. Male female cis trans... idgaf.

I just want someone who wants to be with me because I got fucked by that sharp stick twice.

I identify as pansexual now because I only care that if you are a good human being.

And the few people who know me as female certainly wouldn't care who I go out and fall in love with.

 

Monika, please don't let that dream die - it is a good dream, one that is entirely reasonable, and one that you deserve to have come true. You deserve love, you deserve someone to love, you deserve to have someone love you just as much as you love them. Nothing is certain in life, but I feel awfully good about your chances :icon_bigg

(*hug*) Be good to yourself!

 

(*hug*)
I'm confident you'll find that person! <3

 

I know that you'll find someone, Monika. (*hug*) The thing is that when we care for someone, we have to decide if they are worth the risk of being hurt. We have no way to predict another person's feelings or how they may change over time so, all that matters is whether you feel strongly enough to risk heartbreak - some people are really worth this risk.

I understand not feeling good enough, I feel the same way, but it isn't your choice. Let the other person decide, not if you're "good enough," but if you fit with them. Everyone thinks that love has to be this passionate, crazy spark at the beginning but maybe just a warmth between two people is more sustainable.

Just some thoughts... (&&&)

 

I've had some of the same thoughts. But then I realized that, projecting forward from past performance, it would be impossible for me, as a transwoman, to be any less romantically partnered than I have been as a cis man.

I figure my choice is between turning into the cranky old "get off my lawn, you kids!" guy or turning into that nice old cat lady. Given the choice, I'll take cat lady any day!

(Note: this post contains attempted self-deprecating humor, and should not be taken as casting aspersions on any group of people, be they male/female/non-binary, cis/trans, lawn-keeper or cat-owner.)

 

Someone is going to get a talking to later...

Remember that "gold" reference.

 

Way I see it... it's just that Lie we used to live, trying to control us again, trying to force us back into our prison, a demon of sorts, we're so used to being a failure, or blending in, it's so easy to fall back into failure, but our pain, our struggle that is where the victory is.
trans peoples have come before us, many will come after us, have some died alone? That I can't answer, But I know most find a relationship. Heteronorm people die alone too. I hate to dwell on the death but... lol