The last few days I've stumbled on several derogatory comments towards trans individuals online, and I'm starting to wonder about the people I meet offline. The vitriol and condescension all comes from people who have presences in real-life, and there's no way for me to tell which ones those are when they even come from within GLBT communities. If I don't become a hermit and am at all open about who and what I am, eventually I will meet them. How many of the baristas who smile and chat with me only do so because they don't know I'm trans? How many of the friends I may make? How many family members? Right now I'm obviously female, and everyone I meet is going to look at me as a woman. What happens if/when they find out that's not how I see myself? I don't consider myself someone who seeks approval, but the idea that people have these kinds of feelings towards me, that I'm a freak, have a fetish, am not someone they want to associate with, that I'm gross, that I'm deceitful or fake, is different than knowing that people don't agree with my political views or my choice of foods. How does everyone else deal with this?
An important point that you have to remember, is that everyone has their own opinion. Some will be bad, others will be good. Before flat out saying "I'm transgeneder" see if they support the LGBT community. Ease them into the idea. If they feel like you're a "freak" then they are not worth being friends with and should be cut out of your life. Know that to cis people, this is different, totally different level and not being able to understand something can lead into harsh feelings. It really depends if they are a good person or not. Strangers don't have to know you're transgender either. ^w^
I do think that finding out someone's opinions of the GLBT community can serve as an early filter for friendships, yeah. I know that strangers don't need to know, but I guess... it diminishes my daily interactions? Knowing that they're only kind or helpful to me because they see something I'm not and could change in an instant. It's hard to explain.
In season 5 of RuPaul's drag race she told a contestant (Roxxxy) that, "...You know we as gay people we get to choose our family. We get to choose the people we’re around. I am your family, we are family here. I love you." This has stuck with me and and that is how I view things. I get to choose who I let into my world and know ME and really what other people think that aren't my chosen family doesn't matter. I wasted a lot of time and tears worrying about other people and opinions that I don't agree with and I just don't care about opinions anymore. I'll still pick up things people drop, hold doors and elevators or give them cuts in the grocery line if they have less items and all of the other things I do to help people. I'm being true to myself regardless of what others might think or say.
