Is this offensive to you?

um, what is cis-gender?

 

That really depends. I AM transgender, I'm quite happy about that, although I completely understand what you mean about wanting to be seen as female first.

I mean I wouldn't like it if someone said it in an aggressive way or if they intended to make me feel bad by using it...but I figure if someone was going to try and make me feel bad they'd call me a tranny or a shemale or something, not transgender...

 

oh, wait so how would people confuse cis-gender with transgender

 

If it's used in an offensive way, then yeah.
Otherwise, meh.

 

i don't really care as long as i'm not being referred to as "a transgender" or "transgendered". so basically as long as the word is being used correctly and it's not being said like venom, lmao.

 

There's kind of a dichotomy here regarding this matter. On the one hand, yes, women who happen to have been born with a male physicality ought to be able to be recognized as women, with no disclaimers attached. (And the same holds true for FtM's.) On the other, because we are cognizant of the obstacles trans persons face in gaining acceptance, we run the risk of abandoning our struggling sisters and brothers if we eschew this connection too completely. It's definitely a fine line to negotiate.

Do you mind if I repost this in the Self-Esteem thread? Seems like it would be very worthy to fit in with discussion there.

 

I totally get where you're coming from, but IMO I think a cis-person using the term transgendered, as opposed to the many, many derogatory terms that they could potentially use, is a sign of someone who's at the very least sensitive enough about the subject that maybe we're not a bunch of freak shows. It gives you somewhere to work from, telling them if you so choose, "thank you, but personally I'd rather you just think of me as any other girl" or what have you.

 

I'd be more offended (and not even by much then) if someone said "you're a trans". Transgender's fine. Transsexual is okay. Just trans kinda depends and I'd prefer for it not to be treated like a noun. And that goes for all 3. I'm not a transgender. I'm transgender.

 

Strangely enough, the idea of a non trans/genderqueer/whatever person calling me a transsexual bugs me more than the idea of them calling me transgendered. Maybe because transsexual has been a word in use, and misused (the crappy talk shows for example), for so much longer than transgendered that it almost has a residue to negativity in my mind. Or maybe it's that being called transsexual feels very presumptuous on the speakers part as to where I fall in the TG spectrum that it's really annoying to me. But yeah, that gets me more than transgendered ever does.

 

If it's said offensively, I will be offended. If you call me "a transgender" but not a "transgender guy/ man/ person," I will be offended. Call me a "tranny" or a "he-she" and I reserve the right to verbally eviscerate you. Call a woman similarly and I will probably try to destroy you socially.

I'm not at all vengeful, though.

 

Context is key

---------- Post added 8th Jun 2014 at 10:41 AM ----------

Words are innocent. Sounds that we make

 

The terminology, you mean? I don't think that these terms are ever confused.

 

Depends on how they use it. If they call me "a transgender" I would be mad but if it's just "transgender man" I don't mind. It's true after all

 

I don't know if I have any say in this since I'm a cis-female but I think it depends on how cis-gendered people use the word "transgender". And we ALWAYS NEED to respect someone's preferred pronouns. Like if cis-gendered people don't respect it and choose to think you aren't a girl, you have every right to be offended.

Btw slurs like "tranny, she-male etc." are very offensive and I don't think cishet people should say them.

 

To be honest, I used to find a lot of things offensive. The further into transition I get, the easier it is to deal with the little war between who I am and who words say I am. Transgender includes a lot of people, and because of that, there are guaranteed to be some people who make assumptions about me that are not true if that's the word they pick instead of either "transsexual" or "woman".

Now? Sure, it's a little weird when people group me together with people that have different needs. It's even a little exhausting and eyeroll worthy when I realize they have their own theories about what I am, and when I know I'll never get a simple "her" out of someone. Some people are going to view me as a gay guy or a cross dresser or any of a million other things that let them hold on to their idea of my old gender. Some people will use the word "transgender" that way. It can't be helped.

But you know, the people I'm being lumped in with in the meantime, are all awesome people. Cross dressers are awesome people. Drag queens are. Gay guys are. Yes, the thing all these people have in common is that they're men. But you know, if someone else can look at me, no matter how feminine I am - I used to joke that if I found a way to get pregnant, I could have my feet in the stirrups and there would be people telling me I was "really a guy" - it's their problem.

I think that has been the biggest part of my transition. Just realizing, deep down, slowly, every day, that other people don't get to say who or what I am. Mother nature does. I have learned to work with her, instead of social expectations. If the words don't match nature, nature wins. That was not true when all this started, but it is a lot more true now.

And so now, transgender is a word that lets me fight for my own needs, and the needs of all those awesome people I am lumped in with. Because even though we have differences, I do have needs in common with a genderqueer person or a drag queen. I make sure that transsexual transitioners - especially those of us with legitimate medical needs - don't get drowned out, or that people don't try to make us deal with our problem the way other transgender people deal with their problems. But I kind of like the fact that we're all in this together.

 

Also, i think "cis-gender" CAN be offensive as well. Like a cishet male is a male the same way a trans-male is a male.

Trans and cis are just titles to the identity and shouldn't be used to offend. But then again I might not have ANY right to an opinion to this topic. So if I sound dumb or anything, please ignore me cause I probably am.