i find myself thinking about my best friend, megan, a lot. i like her eyes, her touch, her freckles, and every little detail about her! i even like the things most people wont like, like aggressivness, selfishness, and sometimes sassyness. im 13, asian, average, not too pretty. i dont know. shes white, blue eyes, one of the 'popular' people. everytime i walk by her my heart races like literally, (i sound so cliche so sorry) and i always find myself trying to get her attention or getting close to her. we've had a very touchy relationship, ive slept with her (NOT THE KIND U THINK IM TLAKING ABOUT :icon_redf) and everyhtnig. ive also dated guys. david, he was my world when i dated him. but even when i dated him all i could think about was megan this megan that. i think about out future. i have a very tiny build (5"0) she's (5"2) i dont think im ever gonna grow taller. when i think about our future i think about me carrying furniture like the 'average' couple. driving big trucks. fixing the sink. reaching for high things. carrying her when she's hurt. and i KNOW i'm not capable. i know people are going to give us looks if we walk outside holding hands, kissing. theyre going to hate us. avoid us. maybe even hurt us. i feel like i was born the wrong gender.. i just want to live a happy life with her someday. i know we probably wont end up together but i know im just gonna fall for another girl and have this happen again. so i want to end this now. deep inside i know im lesbian or bisexual or whatever but i feel like this is a 'phase'?
in my opinion, this sounds more like a sexual orientation question than a gender one. Your sexual orientation doesn't depend on your gender. By your description, it sounds like you're bisexual. Whether or not it's a "phase" isn't that important, because your sexuality can change. You're allowed to have "phases," especially when you're young, and that shouldn't worry you too much. "I feel like I was born the wrong gender..." Could you please be more specific? What specifically makes you think that? Also, you're only 13! I think you'll definitely grow taller, even just a little bit.
