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How do you manage to maintain living as prefered gender nowadays?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by straightqueer20, Jun 11, 2014.

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  1. straightqueer20

    straightqueer20
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    With people knowing you before?


    I'm a person who is perceived as a specific gender most of the time at school. My roomies and my friends that I associate with nowadays mostly believe me to be a certain gender. I feel like a bit though the way I was treated before was always more drama so I never really corrected people from referring to me as a specific gender I don't really believe myself to be male or female in the mental way.

    But at my hometown I still have to present as a my original sex. What sucks is my old friends mixing with the new comrades I've made now. On fb I had my bday and I had some comments from the old friends who knew me before I started going to uni. Who said some things that would make other friends questioned if they saw it. I don't let any of my new friends know of my family either but that's easy because they're messed up. But how do you avoid people from like letting something slip? And not causing excess drama.
     
    #1 straightqueer20, Jun 11, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2014
  2. BookDragon

    BookDragon
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    Location:
    Cambridge, UK
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    The same way I did before I guess...

    There's not that many people I have NO CHOICE about dealing with...either they accept me and treat me how I ask, or they get removed from my life...
     
    #2 BookDragon, Jun 11, 2014
  3. straightqueer20

    straightqueer20
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    Well for me I'm actually living in stealth. Which is what I'm curious about I added extra detail actually. I don't really wat to make things worst than it could get.
     
    #3 straightqueer20, Jun 11, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2014
  4. Kasey

    Kasey
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    Location:
    The Commonwealth of Massachusetts
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Yea...

    My job most likely will make me not be able to do more than socially transition... Unless it gets to me so much.

    I'm working at my personal life. At least where I live and who I live with are the people I'm out to and good friends.
     
    #4 Kasey, Jun 11, 2014
  5. straightqueer20

    straightqueer20
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    I'm not really out with my roommates he for one is pretty close minded and homophobic. So he's like too simple to understand much it seems in this realm but he's a great guy in general and get along well with him.
     
    #5 straightqueer20, Jun 11, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2014
  6. drwinchester

    drwinchester Guest

    Pretty much same way as usual. I'm full time. And now, very few people don't know I'm a guy (including my sisters but I imagine they have their suspicions).

    Might be awkward but people will have questions and your goal is to be authentic and choose who you want to have in your life.
     
    #6 drwinchester, Jun 11, 2014
  7. straightqueer20

    straightqueer20
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    I'm not that authentic with gender expression actually lol. I wear make up and I really don't in the mental state identify as male just am perceived as one.
     
    #7 straightqueer20, Jun 12, 2014
  8. Alfhild

    Alfhild
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    well i don't associate with people i knew awhile back but i have more trouble with people i meet who always wanna guess my gender (i have a guy's looking body but i wear high heels and plenty of makeup
    as guys don't like when i decide to use "their" bathroom, that's just probably where i live though
     
    #8 Alfhild, Jun 12, 2014
  9. straightqueer20

    straightqueer20
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    I wear make up but kind of subtle I don't wear fake lashes or anything just like subtle lipstick base and get my brows done. Women don't like it when I go to their bathroom usually. Because they think I'm a guy usually. It was a problem in high school. Nowadays I just use the male bathroom. Sometimes there's an issue. But a lot less than when then trying to go in girl's room.
     
    #9 straightqueer20, Jun 12, 2014
  10. Daydreamer1

    Daydreamer1
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    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I just do what I've been doing, but I'm not as shy about it. I've always been a recluse and since I graduate, I slowly kept more and more to myself until last summer when I blew the hinges off the closet door. I don't think I really associated with friends or people I went to school with since last year or late 2012.

    Despite all of this, I really haven't had problems with people I keep in touch with or those who choose to come back into my life. People seem to have grasped the concept or understood the situation without being told (at least from my mouth) and I've yet to have someone be a wise ass about it. I think a lot of the maintenance comes from my fiance being my foundation for keeping a somewhat strong head on things.

    I've gone full time pretty much since last summer and I only really just get hell from the family about how if I wear my beard outside the house, they'll refuse to take me somewhere. Socially, I don't think I've been outed since my hospitalization (medical appointments aside) and I think I actually pass enough now to not get weird looks from others. I'm hoping I have the guts to go back into the employment line without having to go back to the closet or I can get enough legal work done to where I can (perks of living in a city with protection laws I guess--privilege checked).
     
    #10 Daydreamer1, Jun 13, 2014
  11. straightqueer20

    straightqueer20
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    I think the problem is that though sorta. Before when I was in high school I look basically the same way as then just older. I was always rather masculine in appearance. Only difference is I lost weight and I wear make up now then I was really trying to look my worst. So those who knew me in my own town don't know.
     
    #11 straightqueer20, Jun 13, 2014
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