...I'm back. :lol: Things felt very genderized today and it was discomfiting. We had sex ed., which doesn't make me uncomfortable but being forced to remember what my parts actually are did today. So tonight, body dysphoria to the max. There were people separating out genders a lot today. I have a crush on this guy and it seems that it might become more than that but, even at this stage, it keeps bugging me that he's only attracted to me because I appear female. I wonder if I would be alright being a girl after all and it makes me confused. But in all honesty I really don't feel like a girl. I'm very bothered. I had to go graduation dress shopping last weekend and the whole time I was thinking, "I want a suit. I want a suit. I want a suit.", but that would be too much to spring on my mom. So, I got a dress. It was a nice dress. It felt weird but, you know. It's funny how I doubt myself most when my dysphoria is at it's worst. It's like I know I'm not a girl, but I don't know if I'd make a good guy. It's hard to tell at this point. Sorry about that, just ranting. Still another 2 weeks until I can talk to my therapist about all this. Blah.