Considering sex change?

I'd recommend a gender therapist.

Being that I don't know you Im not super comfortable handing out advice, but to me being trans isn't about fashion, acceptance, attraction etc - it is about my physical body not matching my heart and soul.

You can identify and look however you wish, but are you a she or a he that is feeling out of place in a dating environment that hasn't produced the right suitor?

You are an attractive person that has a style that might fit in better in certain cities than others and I hope you carefully consider what you want and continue to seek out your true self.

None of us can tell you who you are and what is best, but I do whole-heartedly want you to feel loved for being you and not because of a pronoun or an F on your drivers license.

 

My advice is find someone who can appreciate both your masculine and feminine side. The guy should have one word for you, "perfect" I understand you're frustrated with these guys but you can't be changing yourself up every time somebody says this or that, that's not fair to you and just plain selfish of them. If they don't like you as you want to be, your genuine self, they aren't worth your time.

 

SRS is meant (and prescribed) only for transgender people who experience bottom dysphoria/ discomfort with their genitals. You don't seem to express any gender dysphoria but rather annoyance/ sadness regarding how others might view your femininity/ masculinity. If you really do have gender dysphoria, you should see a counselor (either a GT or someone with knowledge of transgender health). Never change your body to appease someone else.

Hope this helps.

 

What your talking about as "masculine" and "feminine" traits are all just hobbies and interests. Yes, they are stereotypically just for men or women but they don't indicate anything other than your interests, they don't decide your gender identity for you. Just think about a few things:

1. If you could wake up tomorrow and by ANY gender, what would you want?
2. Do you want to look like a girl? chest, hips, voice, and all that?
3. Would you prefer to be referred to as he/him, they/them, or she/her?

Also, another good one, imagine yourself on a desert island with no one else around at all. No one around to judge you or see you or anything. What gender would you like to be? Hope this helps feel free to message me.

 

If you really think you are trans then good luck, but if you only want SRS to escape male gender roles and being stigmatized for being feminine then transition probably isn't right for you

 

To me, masculine and feminine are just social constructs. Even the terms male and female are social constructs in a way. You probably just don't fit these constructs. Just be proud, you transcend them in a way.
Don't change yourself so others will like you. You're good the way you are, and obviously unique, which not people can say nowadays sadly.
:hug:

 

So as far as your body goes, something to consider is that your hormones change every body part except your facial hair and skeleton.

That includes your brain.

I am not talking about psychological differences, I personally consider a lot of those B.S. anyway and there are a lot of women - cis and trans - that are much smarter than myself when it comes to the math and science I went to school for. I am talking about things like your libido, how you feel emotions. Like your physical brain, not your mind. The chemicals going through you. Hormones are basically drugs your body makes, that you can't help but take. These are the "inside" changes a lot of us talk about.

I personally had a lot of these things more in common with women than men before I started transition. I am not saying that has to describe you, a lot of people are quite happy doing things my way without starting out where I started out. I am just saying, that they are not right for everyone.

About the only change you can make to your physical sex that won't affect your hormones at all - but will make you appear female to other people - is breast augmentation. Everything else changes you on the inside.

Personally, having my libido make more sense to me, off most of the time and taking a while to warm up but when it does watch out, was a relief. It felt kind of good. So did getting smaller "down there" when I am not aroused. My emotions are a lot more genuine. I am so so much more at peace with my body when I am on hormones. The changes on the inside were worth it, just by themselves, no matter how people see me on the outside. There are people that will never ever accept me as a woman, and now that I have started my transition, that fact is just plain a lot easier to deal with for me.

There are a lot of negative side effects to being on the wrong hormones, is what I am getting at. I used to deal with these when I was on testosterone. They affected my relationships, my focus on school and work, my ability to socialize, and my feeling like I needed to be a woman caused me a lot of shame and messed with me in other ways. Now that last one anyone can deal with with just a little bit of self acceptance, but that is about the only thing you can deal with with just therapy and talk.

What I am saying, is that you need to consider all that, before you start taking feminizing hormones. Those internal changes are not right for everyone. There is a risk that you'll become a female to male transitioner.

In fact, since you can't be on hormones long term without doing something about the place you're making them anyway (although you can do something I am planning on just to save money until I can get an actual vagina, and just get your testicles - which will atrophy anyway - removed) eventually, taking hormones is pretty much making a promise to yourself to get a surgery one day. Whether that surgery is "bottom surgery" like we just discussed, or "top surgery" and getting your breasts removed, that's pretty much what it costs.

For me, getting past a condition that was handicapping me across the board in the game of life was so so worth it. But hopefully you can make a better decision as far as you and your situation go.

---------- Post added 12th Jun 2014 at 05:30 PM ----------

I want to add, I am not trying to go too far in the other direction. I'm not telling you not to talk to your doctor about them, or not to consider them. I'm not saying anything one way or the other.

You just need to make an informed choice about this. Do some research. Set aside a day on the weekend if you can.

If you just want the kinds of guys that go after feminine people, then there's other ways that don't involve medicine to get there. Hit me up in PM, I have had a drag mother and plenty of awesome friends that can do what mother nature, loads of time, and medicine are doing for me, in like an hour with a little bit of artistic creativity. And look much better than me when they're done

 

There is a lot of wisdom in all those who have posted. I would seek out professional help as well before embarking on a journey that your thinking about.

 

I also think you should talk to a therapist.

But to be honest, you do not sound transgender. you sound just like a feminine guy who hates the way society pressures him to be. Assuming you live in the US, this place is one of the worst country to be androgynous.

You're cute, there need to be more guys like you in this stupid country.


I'm a trans guy, but I wear make up, have long hair (pretty much shoulder length) and dress in the Japanese Visual Kei style (which is very androgynous). I like being slim, and one of the reasons I don't want to take testosterone because of the abundance of body hair. But this doesn't change my gender identity. It doesn't change the fact that I have severe dysphoria about my chest AND genitals. It doesn't mean I feel like a girl. I wear long black skirts often. But I'm still not a girl.

I have questioned if I was even truly trans because of the clothing I wear. But the people here have helped me see what I knew all along.

Gender expression does not equal gender identity.

 

Pretty much everyone's said what I would have said already, so I'll just ramble on and hope some of it makes sense (and it's not just lack of sleep and really looks like hjjxfoijdfp to everyone else. )

You definitely sound confused, and that's understandable, but your confusion doesn't seem to really be about your gender. I don't want to make assumptions, but it sort of sounds like a lot of your info's based off of porn (terms like 't-girl' and the like aren't all that often used outside of porn, in my experience). The problem with that, just like basing anything else off porn, is it gives you false impressions. You've said you're comfortable with your genitals as is, and that's awesome. Which could make things awkward if you tried to transition as hormones would basically make them useless, at least in their current sexual sense. The girls in 'shemale' porn that can still use theirs have to go off their 'mones for a period of time before a shoot, and that can really mess with your system.

Others have basically said this, but I think the best way to think about it is: It's not about what you wear, or what you do, and it's not about who you bring home but who you see in the mirror.

I definitely agree that you should try and find a therapist. Someone you feel comfortable with (easier said than done, I know, took me a long time).

xxoo
Lotsa love, and best of luck