Cisgender woman?

I've been researching for a few months about gender identity, so then I began to wonder if I see myself as a cisgender woman.

I don't see myself as a tomboy, but I'm not a so girly girl either. I actually wished I had more male traits and that I wasn't so afraid to show my masculine side. I don't experience body dysphoria, I'm completely ok when people reffers to me as "she", but I really wanted to befriend some guys and not just girls without feeling like they see me like somebody they can date.
The way women are sexualised in the media makes me angry because they are putting in people around the world's mind that women are supposed to be sexual objects and not human beings.
And men? Oh well... That doesn't really happen so often. In the media I usually see them like... Strong, dominant, confident, heroes? Sorry, that's how I see men being show in video games. I'm not into movies and TV shows, y'know?
Oh, yeah. You can also come up with the names of many female characters that can be as good as the male ones, but they're rare in my opinion. They're often seen like the princess you must save or the strong female lead that has no personality and is extremely hot.

Guess which of them I'd prefer to be if given a choice?

So does that mean that I'm not cisgender? I really doubt that since many women around the world identifies much more with the male characters than the female ones because most of the female character suck.

Now, maybe the only thing that still make me question my gender is the fact that I really wished I was seem like an equal by men. I hate this "men can't hit women, but women can hit men" bullshit. I think you should give both sides to beat each other or not give that right to anybody. I hate when people say that man and woman can't be friends. I feel very angry when people want to convince me that every man in the world follow the stereotypical male gender role, sometimes I even feel like using myself as an example to say that's not true, so then I remember I'm not a man. There are many other things I'd like to put in here, but I'm going to stop right now.

Yeah, these are the things that've been making me wonder if I'm a ciswoman that just want to be seem like a human being and having the freedom to show my male side or if I'm transgender. I believe that the first option makes more sense to me since I don't feel like I'm transsexual, neutrois or androgyne completely.

For now, I see myself as a woman, but I don't feel confortable with the way people treat me because of my sex. I'd like to be seem like a human being, not a gender. If I had the freedom to express myself in the way I wanted to, maybe I wouldn't be questioning my gender.

Sorry, it looks like I made you lose your time reading it. Just wanted to tell this to somebody and I hope you got able to understand how I feel. Sometimes I wonder if other cisgender people feel this way too or if I'm an exception...

 

Yeah, maybe I'm just a different kind of girl. I still have my doubts though...

When I'm socializing with people from my gender I feel like an alien. I'm just hearing they gossiping, talking about boys and things like that in silence.
When I'm with the boys, I do talk a little more. I don't feel so much like an outsider when I'm with them, but recently I've been having the impression that they don't see me as a boy, as someone that belongs to their group, so I walk away from them.

I always had problems with socialization because of the bullying I suffered when I was a little kid, so I don't really think it has anything to do with my gender identity. It sounds more like the things I'm interested in are stereotypicaly male since I'm able to speak with both boys and girls depending on their interests.

That even made me think if I was neutrois or agender. I just don't see myself like any of those because I don't wish to have surgery to change my body and I don't think I'd be confortable in a man's body because of the genitals, now I'd probably not miss so much my boobs and curves, but what I have between my legs must stay there. Oh well, I have to admit that I've been thinking about having a "hermaphrodite" body since I was a kid. Could that really mean anything?

Sorry, I should've put that in the first post. -_-

 

Don't you mean Lara Croft? Sorry, I had to correct that.
Yeah, there are some female characters that aren't portrayed as helpless princess, but I have problems in identifying myself with the ones that aren't somehow. It doesn't mean I can't, it's just more difficult for me to like female characters. I think it's because they lack some traits that I usually find in male characters or something like that, can't really tell.

So you mean that I don't need to like my gender role to be a woman? I made some more research about this topic and it sounds like many cisgender people don't like this gender role thing, I'm not really bad in identifying myself as a woman, I just don't like the way I'm treated because of that.

Maybe I'm cisgendered, but I'll have to admit that I kinda understand the way agender people feel though I see myself more like some sort of mix of both genders than completely something else. I might take a little look about intergender people...

For all.

Thanks for sharing your opinions. If someone else'd like to give more opinions on the subject, go ahead.