How did you know you wanted to be a boy

Well for me I knew because I hate having a female body and I wish my body was male. I get really uncomfortable and embarrassed by having a female body. I also want other people to view me as male, and it feels more natural to be referred to with male pronouns and a male name.

 

For me I knew because I want to either hide or chop off my chet area, sometimes want to self harm in other female-specific areas, and I feel like I'm lying when I try to act like a girl, and feel like I'm cross-dressing when I try to look like a girl, especially when I wear dresses, skirts, and makeup. I also feel like I think more like a guy, and have this general feeling of having a male brain in a female body. I've even had other people (before I knew I was trans*) tell me that I came across as more masculine in the way I communicate. My old roommate, after I told her, said it kind of made sense because I never knew how to be feminine where it comes naturally to most girls.

As for being attracted to guys... Well, yeah. Pretty self-explanatory, I guess. I like men, and I pretty much mostly just see myself being with men. But it's totally different from the gender dysphoria.

 

Oh yeah I forgot- I also feel like I'm crossdressing when I wear dresses and skirts and I hate wearing women's clothing because it's so tight and it shows off my body :tears:
Men's clothes are way more comfortable and natural to wear.

As far as attraction goes, even though I often envy other guy's appearances, I also find them attractive and I want a relationship with a guy.

 

You could be both.
For me it is kind of like a continuous nagging feeling. I wish to have a deep voice and to slice off my chest. Of course I want all of the body hair and womens clothing is alien, although I did something bad... haha

Do you want a penis? It all comes down to how you feel about your body. Do you want a flat chest and facial hair? How happy would you be if you had a deep voice? If you could wake up male, would you? (Remember that it's permanent in this situation and you could never be female again) How does the possibility of never going back make you feel? You'll work it out eventually soldier.

For the attraction, I just KNOW I want to be with a man. It's wierd how life works. Touching women is strange to me. (Sorry ladies, you're gorgeous)

 

A friend of mine used to tell me that our friendship worked like so: I wanted to *be* the guys we hung out with, she wanted to *do* them. A bit crass, but it got me thinking.

Where I do find men attractive, handsome, what have you - I find very few sexually appealing. I have been in relationships with men, though all but 1 ended poorly. I found there was a LOT of competition (in everything), puff-out-the-chest kind of fights, and even MORE competition when girls would get brought up (our previous relationships with women, or when women would flirt with me instead of them).

I also feel like I'm cross-dressing when I wear women's clothing. It's like Halloween or something, and I can't wait to change the minute I get home. I often identify as genderfluid, but I'm beginning to question that myself.

 

This may sound weird, but for me it's like I knew before I even became consciously aware that I wanted to be male. I always preferred my male character over the female one, but it took me some time to realize it was me . All I can say is that the minute I took that into account, the fantasies of me as him havn't stopped. I truly am a guy on the inside but my body is alien compared to my mental self identity which really sucks.

 

It's a cliche, but it was something that was always with me.

 

Same. I always knew I was suppose to be born male and would be happier as one. I just didn't realize I could do something about it until recently.

 

I began to experience gender dysphoria when I was about six or seven. I just didn't know it.

I started out introducing myself as a boy online. I denied everyone who told me I was a girl. When I grew older, I went into denial, thinking I was lying to everyone on the internet, so I told them I was a girl and began to register as female on new sites.

It left me worse than before.

Now I have to mend everything I've done. My friends see me as a girl now. It's upsetting, but it's my fault, so I have to suck it up and deal with it. It's not like I don't deal with misgendering offline, anyway.

I hate my breasts, but like you, I'm alright with my vagina, except that I hate to call it a vagina and I hate when people tell me I have a vagina and I absolutely don't want to acknowledge that I have a vagina, but I have a vagina and I'm OK with not having a dick.

Like others have said, it all comes down to if you like being perceived as male. If someone addressed you and referred to you as they would refer to a man, will that make you happy? And if you are addressed or referred to in a way people would refer to a woman, will that make you upset?

Keep in mind that gender isn't really binary. Perhaps you aren't a man or a woman, but bigender, where you feel like both a man and a woman, or agender, where you feel like you have no gender at all. All of it is perfectly fine, and you have time to sort it all out. There's no rush.

And, I just wanted to add I felt and feel exactly the same as KyleCats. I'm surprised to see others who were similar in thinking, but I'm not sure why. It seems like a common thought.

 

Well, I knew that I hated wearing women's clothing. I just thought that this was because I was a more masculine lesbian. As time went on, I found myself wanting to look more and more male. I still had days where I wanted to look more female though. So, for a bit identified as genderfluid. Then I realized that as I became more comfortable with being masculine, I felt a lot better being masculine. I loved to bind, it made me feel way more confident about myself. I also realized that I had began to love to try to present male. (I say try, because at this time, I still had really long hair (see photo here This is when I was still identifying as genderfluid.)

Then one day it clicked for me. This is when I started to experience higher amounts of dysphoria. Before, I had mostly social dysphoria, but when I came out to myself, I had both top and bottom dysphoria. This really confirmed for me that I am FtM.

 

That's disheartening to hear that you were bullied for looking like a boy. It's terrible how society tries to force people into gender norms.

I can't really tell you if it's denial or not. I know you may hate to hear this, but gender is something you discover yourself. The entire world can give you advice, but only you can take it to heart, take it apart, and put it back together into your identity.

I guess the ultimate question is: Do you want to be a boy?

You already asked that question yourself, but really think about it. If you could pick your gender from birth, would you have chosen a male body? That's one way to go about it, but it's not the only way and I'd be damned if it was the best way.

Sorry I couldn't help more. Best of luck.

 

i definitely had the same confusion as you regarding attraction/jealousy. one of my friends actually commented on the fact that a lot of the guys i found attractive looked like me. in hindsight, it was definitely wanting to be them that i was feeling. however, there are still guys that i find attractive.

i tried to feminize myself for a long time, but it always felt uncomfortable and like i wasn't supposed to be. i felt like it was something for women, of which i belonged, but at the same time i didn't fall into that group. maybe i was in denial, or maybe i was just trying to follow societal norms. i don't know

---------- Post added 17th Jun 2014 at 07:11 PM ----------

i'd say so... if you want to be a boy, then you can be a boy. simple as that

 

Maybe, maybe not.

Some women "want" to be men because of the sexism and mistreatment of women in today's society. But that didn't stop trans women, did it?

I hold to the belief that transgender people don't choose their gender. If people could, then we might as well be all cis. Why go through such torture if you can simply change it?

If you're FtM, then you want to be perceived as male. We go through denial, yes, and each of us probably had different experiences with denial. Me, I thought I was lying. Others may have thought they were seeking attention, or that there was something wrong with them. And so on. Only time can tell if you're in denial or not, but whether you're trans or not, you're still you and we all respect you for that.

 

I didn't acctually wanted to be a boy, I wanted to be a real girl. So I tried and i tried and waited for the day when my gender would match my sex. The result was a whole bunch of confusion, dysforia, depression and I had no clue of whom I was. I felt like a boy and daydreamed of beeing one but didn't understand why, I couldn't see myself in the picture I had of transgendered females.
But whne I reccently realized that I actually was transgendered averything that had bothered me made sense and the thoght of acually get a mans body fills me with such a relief. And when I think of myself as a woman, I have no idea of who I am, I would just do what i thought was expected from me, but when I think of myself as a man, I know exctly who I am. So I guess that is how I know. But it took 25 years to accept it. :/

 

^ important

For me at least there has been a lot of self doubt, particularly because I enjoy stereotypically feminine things.

Sometimes it takes a long time to figure stuff out and that is totally normal and okay because discovering you're trans is a big change.

BUT YEAH ANYWAY I am asexual as heck so I don't know much about attraction, but I could see where that would get in the way of finding yourself. I've heard about that happening before.

And yeah as ConfusedAtHeart said it could be a mixture of both which sounds even more confusing!

 

For me, it's always been envy. That doesn't mean the two feelings don't overlap - I don't feel feelings similar to attraction without a level of envy to be honest. But it was the envy I noticed first, the wanting to be him, as opposed to wanting to be with him.