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What I like to call the "Clothing Meltdown Tornado"...

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Nemo39122, Jun 17, 2014.

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  1. Nemo39122

    Nemo39122
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    Just wanting to vent a little and see if anyone else does this...
    Basically, when I get dressed or change clothes there are times where it turns into a bit of a meltdown. I basically end up going back and forth between my closet and my bathroom mirror, trying on a shirt or pants or whatever and ripping it off because I feel like I just don't look male or "male enough" in it. It's basically a mission to find whatever makes me want to crawl out of my skin the least that day.

    Sometimes I know the reason, sometimes I don't.
    It can be anything from being able to see my chest through it a little bit (even though I bind), the shirt for whatever reason makes my arms look really skinny which I feel makes them look not masculine, the pants/shorts make what I call my "stupid big girly butt" too noticeable, etc...

    I call it the "clothing meltdown tornado" because my closet and my apartment between my bedroom and bathroom (sometimes the entire apartment :eek: ) ends up with clothes EVERYWHERE, so it almost looks like it got hit by a tornado or something. I can kinda laugh about it most of the time, but it's actually pretty frustrating. There's been more than one occasion where I'd end up in tears...especially if I couldn't really find anything that helped much that day.

    So yeah, does anyone else do this?...:bang:
     
    #1 Nemo39122, Jun 17, 2014
  2. ErenJaeger

    ErenJaeger
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    Oh my goodness, all the time. I always feel especially bad when I go to put on clothing that is definitely male, and I've binded, and yet my chest still comes out in such a way that makes me look like a very small-in-the-chest woman and I just get mad and sometimes I even wonder why I bother trying because I know I'll never pass and yadda yadda on and on...

    But then I usually throw on a big sweater, roll up the sleeves, and try to move on with my day. ),8
     
    #2 ErenJaeger, Jun 17, 2014
  3. birdking

    birdking
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    jesus yeah just today even

    I was trying to find something that would hide my hips, and I got really discouraged when I couldn't, but to be fair my "time of the month" is coming up so I'm gonna just assume it's that.

    Just a really bad day dysphoria-wise.
     
    #3 birdking, Jun 17, 2014
  4. ErenJaeger

    ErenJaeger
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    I hear that drag kings duct tape their hips back, I'm assuming against their butt or something? I've never tried it, but I'm interested in doing so (especially for cosplay purposes). Probably would hurt a lot to take off... but I hear olive oil helps make the tape come up easier.
     
    #4 ErenJaeger, Jun 17, 2014
  5. Nemo39122

    Nemo39122
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    (*hug*) Yeah I go on the mental downward spiral of why do I even bother and I'll never pass and it doesn't matter because I can never 100% "fix" this...I could go on for several paragraphs but that would just be depressing. lol.
    I get frustrated because I tend to feel better in the more "slim-fit" type guys shirts, but if they're too tight I get paranoid about my chest. But then if they're too big, I feel like I must look like I've never lifted anything heavier than a marshmallow in my whole life. So yeah. lol

    (*hug*) It gets way worse for me during that evil time of the month too. I guess in one way I'm lucky because it never bothered me much physically, but I pretty much have a week-long psychological breakdown. lol.
    Have you tried compression shorts that are a couple sizes too small for hiding your hips? I got one pair (boys XL...lol) and they actually help a little...I think I'm going to get a size smaller though and see if that helps more.

    Thanks for the replies guys. It sucks that other people have to deal with this crap too but it helps to know I'm not alone. (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)
     
    #5 Nemo39122, Jun 17, 2014
  6. birdking

    birdking
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    OH WOW that sounds really painful! I wonder how that even works.

    it's mostly my bone structure, I wouldn't have much to tape back haha

    I've heard of that but never tried it. Maybe it would help a little. Thank you :slight_smile:
     
    #6 birdking, Jun 17, 2014
  7. ginger cthulhu

    ginger cthulhu
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    This happens to me constantly, and for different reasons. Sometimes it's because I'm desperately trying to pull off looking womanly, because I was born a woman and have a lot of guilt associated for the feelings not matching up to the body - and lets just say, I'm not the most femininely shaped person. Same for when I'm trying to pass as male, and it still doesn't work. Other times, clothes altogether feel like a horrible thing, no matter how many times I change them. I end up hiding in boxers and a sweatshirt in my cave-like bedroom, debating on lighting fire to my entire wardrobe.
     
    #7 ginger cthulhu, Jun 18, 2014
  8. stormborn

    stormborn
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    yep, happens to me all the time. i usually end up getting to the point where i have to leave in two minutes and i'm still not dressed so i just throw something on and try not to think about how i look all day.
     
    #8 stormborn, Jun 18, 2014
  9. Jay47

    Jay47 Guest

    I used to do this constantly, so I picked out the things I did it the least in and only kept those things. Gave the rest away.
     
    #9 Jay47, Jun 18, 2014
  10. Howl

    Howl
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    Yup... me too.
     
    #10 Howl, Jun 18, 2014
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