How did you find out your gender identity?

Gender expression is more about how you act and dress. Gender identity is what your gender is on the inside.

1. It took me quite a while to actually figure out my identity, I thought I was agender for a really long time. I knew I wasn't comfortable having a female body and I wanted to dress and live as male, but I was confused about gender roles and I thought that since I was neither masculine or feminine that I was agender. Eventually I realized that gender roles don't determine your gender and that I was actually a trans guy. I also experimented with male pronouns and a male name, and picturing myself living as a man to see if that made me happy (it did)

2. Not really. I like wearing men's clothes, they feel natural and more comfortable. I actually like skirts a lot, but it gives me dysphoria to wear them so I don't.

3. Gender roles are pretty strict and they also have nothing to do with your gender. They were invented by society and try to force people into tiny boxes for what they can and cannot do based on their gender. Of course people are a lot more diverse than that and a LOT of people don't fit into gender roles. There's a lot of masculine women and feminine guys, they clearly don't fit their gender roles, but they're still male/female.

 

You seem to me a simple girl who doesn't fit into the classic woman stereotype (skirts, lipsticks and similar stuff).

However, here they are my replies.


1. How did you find out your gender identity?

I always felt I'm a guy but I admitted it when I was 16. My mood to see the world, my feelings, my brain belong to a man.


2. Does your gender expression differs from your gender identity? How?

My gender expression is metrosexual. I like to shave my legs, to wear the eyeliner inside the eyes and I hate beard and moustaches. But I'm still a man.


3. What makes somebody act in a way that "doesn't belong" to the gender they identify with?

I explain to you a thing. Having a dick doen't make the Man. Doing girly stuff doesn't make the Woman. You're a Man or a Woman because of your soul and of your ideals. Of your love, for your intelligence.

So, do you like doing "manly" stuff? Do them. And you're still a woman? Of course. Your soul belongs to a woman.


(Sorry if I offended somebody with this tread, I'm just trying to understand better the differences between gender expression and gender identity.)

Hey, don't worry. Your questions aren't offensive!

 

1. How did you find out your gender identity?
Well, once I discovered the existence of trans people, it seemed rather obvious. Before then, I was at a loss to express myself.
2. Does your gender expression differs from your gender identity? How? A bit. I'm sort of center leaning male when it comes to identity, but being stealth, I just present male.
3. What makes somebody act in a way that "doesn't belong" to the gender they identify with? Often fear of hate crime, social ostracisation etc. Sometimes it's just simply that humans are complex creatures, and gender stereotypes are a pile of bullshit.

 

I found out my identity in middle school. That's when I realized how attracted I was to quote unquote girly things. I even remember trying to make dresses for my toys (Even though I loved my Godzilla toy... it needed a dress okay!?). But that's also when I started to realize that I constantly daydreamed and dreamed about being a girl. Not to mention my internal voice and thoughts were always in a female voice and not my own. I knew I was suppose to be a girl. This is also around the time 20/20 was getting big, and they had a few special on trans kids and that's when it clicked.

I definitely hide, and have hidden the fact that I'm trans, hell I even do it with my sexuality. It really just is fear. I'm terrified.

 

I... kinda knew in middle school but from self loathing and Catholic guilt and pressure from outside actually kept me in the closet to even myself for almost 32 years.

Only about 3 months ago did I actually admit aloud that I'm transgender.

It's a lifelong journey.

 

1. i was always aware of my boyishness as a child, and how i wanted to be a boy, but it didn't hit me until i was looking into trans things and realized that i still felt that way.

2. i suppose i'm a bit more feminine in my demeanor than a lot of guys, but otherwise not really. i don't hate dresses, but i don't want to wear them. the lines between masculine and feminine are kind of blurred in my mind, and i think i mostly fit either right between the two or leaning to the masculine side. (did i answer that properly? i don't know :lol: )

3. there are a lot of answers for this... but i think a big one is the response from other people.

 

1. I figured out my gender identity when I wanted to chop off my chest area and when I realised that I think more like a guy and communicate more like a guy, and it hit me that I have a male brain in a female body.

2. My gender expression is very, very different from my gender identity. I'm still very much in the closet, so I present as female pretty much all the time, even though I feel like I'm cross-dressing when I do so. So I look, sound, and pretend to be a girl, when I feel more like a guy.

3. Um... I guess I agree with what's already been said. For me personally, I don't act as the gender I identify with because I'm terrified of coming out of the closet, know that I'm likely to be left homeless if I do come out, and there are also religious reasons for me. In some ways I feel like I'll compromise my ability to be active in my reigion if I behave as a male. I also worry about what it wil do to my family if I transition. And i'm terrified of the overall reaction to it. But yeah there are a lot of reasons someone might "not behave" like the gender they identify as.

 

1. How did you find out your gender identity?
Well first I found out about non-binary identities. I kind of knew that that was how i felt, but I tried to deny it for a few moths. saying, "i could just be a woman and not conform to genders roles".
I can't really explain what it is but i just don't feel like a woman. these thoughts of denial come back from time to time, but mostly bc i am scared of society...


2. Does your gender expression differs from your gender identity? How?

My gender expression changes a lot the whole time, where as my gender identity is more stable. I usually wear mens clothes, but how i act is pretty mixed.



3. What makes somebody act in a way that "doesn't belong" to the gender they identify with? noting. in my opinion, the way you express doesn't have to match up at all with the way you identify. a lot of people try to make it match so they don't get misgenderd.

 

I agree with this.

1. How did you find out your gender identity?

Since I was very young, I always felt like I was a boy and I identified as a boy all the time online. Eventually, I came across the word transgender, and it just clicked.

2. Does your gender expression differs from your gender identity? How?

This is a complicated question for me. I express in the way I want to express. I wear whatever I want and I don't care what it says about me. However, I am not out, so I avoid gendered terms while referring to myself. I supposed to can call it "muted" expression.

3. What makes somebody act in a way that "doesn't belong" to the gender they identify with?

If it goes against stereotypes, people will label it atypical. It's simple as that. I personally disagree, but hey, we're getting somewhere at least.

 

1. How did you find out your gender identity?

I've always felt boyish. I struggled a bit to place myself - as a kid I was happy to be the tomboy, I struggled through puberty and that whole teenage thing, and in the last few years I learned more about trans people and it just clicked. I've had body image issues and felt displaced long before I realised I was under the trans umbrella.

2. Does your gender expression differs from your gender identity? How?

Yes and no. I dress to my identity pretty much all the time, and it's comfortable for me. But I actually really like dresses and skirts. I'll probably play around with expression more when I'm actually seen as male full time. I suppose that's a bit odd, but hey. Guys can enjoy the free feeling of wearing a flowy, simple cotton dress too.

3. What makes somebody act in a way that "doesn't belong" to the gender they identify with?

People aren't photocopies of other people. We're not paper chain dolls or gingerbread men. Just because society defines what makes a man and a woman, that doesn't mean there's merit to it. A lot of people don't fit into the little boxes they're presented with. The issue lies with the little boxes, not with the people that sit in them with one leg out, or can only get one arm in before they feel constrained.

Fuck little boxes. Be you, and be awesome.

 

1. I figured out I wasn't a little girl when I had a dream in fourth grade in which I took a pill that made me a boy and when I woke up and realized It was just a dream I locked myself in the bathroom and cried for a couple hours.

2. My gender identity is not really boy or girl (but more boy than girl), so I guess my presentation fits my gender on a wide basis, but on a day-to-day scale I'll either dress very effeminately or very masculinely so they're not really the same.

3. I don't think there really IS a way to act unlike your gender. Genders on their own don't have attributes. Gender is a concept, which many people use to dress one way or another, but it's unnecessary. It's totally fine to be a boyish girl or to be a feminine enby or what have you.

 

1. How did you find out your gender identity?
- When I was 3 or 4 years old, I want to dress like a boy and I like the toys of boys. I hate barbie dolls and cute stuffy bears. I like bicycles, robots and cars. So yeah, I knew it from a very young age. Plus, I was trying to be cute in front of my female distant cousin at age 4! Haha.

2. Does your gender expression differs from your gender identity? How?
- I'm not sure about this. I accept the fact that I'm a woman. I have a woman's body and have no desire to change it. But I do want to dress like a guy someday. I just feel like if do it too much, people around me would feel awkward. I have big boobs and guy's clothing won't fit well. So I guess I'll just go for a unisex/androgynous style where I don't look too much of a girl and not too much of a guy.

3. What makes somebody act in a way that "doesn't belong" to the gender they identify with?
- Don't act if it makes you feel fake and uncomfortable. Just be yourself.

 

1. How did you find out your gender identity?

Ah this is a long story. I remember I started to have these feelings at age 5, but I never knew I could be a male in a female body till I was 19. How I found that out was, basically I overheard of my friends say she was dating a guy who in fact was transgender. And at this point I had another friend who was questioning if he was transgender as well, so this made me very curious as to what transgender meant. So I did some research on my own, and after the first two articles I read it hit me that I was transgender too and everything had fallen into place right then and there.

2. Does your gender expression differs from your gender identity? How?

No I don't think it does. I had always dressed and presented as male, even when I "identified" as female. It's just more prominent now that I came out.

3. What makes somebody act in a way that "doesn't belong" to the gender they identify with?

Uh...I can act pretty feminine at times. That could probably get people to question me.

 

How did you find out your gender identity?
1. I'll save you the long depressing story of my gender journey with Bilbo and Gandalf. I heard the word at school and did a little research and it clicked and I got emotional.

Does your gender expression differs from your gender identity? How?
2. No, but I'm not a wrestle-me-and-then-we'll-fight-over-a-steak-like-animals guy.

What makes somebody act in a way that "doesn't belong" to the gender they identify with?
3. Nothing. Gender identity doesn't equal gender expression. Be you and you'll find that you're a lot more happy.

 

1. How did you find out your gender identity?
Intuition. It started with an intense dissonance between myself and my body, but at that time there wasn't a whole lot of information readily available, so I couldn't describe what I was feeling. I continued to go throughout life as a masculine female, until I happened to come across information about transitioning.

2. Does your gender expression differs from your gender identity? How?
I'm a genderqueer male. A fairly feminine one. I have no idea. My gender expression fluctuates and I'm non-binary so rarely are both my expression and identity congruent but I tend to present androgynous most of the time.

3. What makes somebody act in a way that "doesn't belong" to the gender they identify with?
Is there really a way to act as a gender? Gender stereotypes are redundant and heavily limit people in terms of expression. Just be whoever you are, for fucks sake.

 

You are misunderstanding gender identity and gender expression.

 

1) I had always hated my female body and liked masculine things. I didn't actually know there was such a thing as transgender until I was researching how to bind my chest for a cosplay and found a bunch of stuff about trandgenderism and it just struck me that that was me exactly. Now I count down the days until I can start transitioning and get super happy whenever a stranger calls me sir. :3
2) I have a masculine gender expression though when it comes to fangirling i am number one and satire a lot of female things. I'll act all girly-girl with my friends for a laugh
3) A person's gender expression doesn't always fit with their identity since society creates the standards for male or female expressions and so therefor many will have their own individual ways of doing things.
Hope that helped :3

 

Oh my, these questions I could write pages about.

1. How did you find out your gender identity?

It was not some magical moment of finding something like an item, it was always there I just didn't... Read it right.

I mean I knew something was off all my life as far as I can remember. Stereotypical stuff and not. Wanting earrings at 5, jealous and depressed my sister got them, crossdressing since who knows? Gender reversing my toys and dolls/lego. Crossing the gender binary has always been in my earliest waking memories from the time I was born, but I somehow learned what shame and expectance was and I closed the door on the girl that would be and filtered her true self out and mixed it with filler male facade.

I suppose after many years after denial and bottling it all up I hit a point where I knew I had to do something. It's like having a footbath and you blink and the water's cold for some reason. You didn't notice it go cold, but now that you are aware you feel how cold it is. Your first instinct is to alleviate it, and that's how it was for me. I might have been sitting on a chair at the time, came to, and I had to ask for a gender psychiatrist.

I was in my early 20's, and I had a solid 18 months before I finally got a first appointment, it was grueling but tolerable. Then I finally saw one, was a traumatic but incredible moment in my life. Save you the details, over the period of the next 6 months I knew there was no other option. It's a tough road yo...

2. Does your gender expression differs from your gender identity? How?

Not really. For clothes I can tolerate some male stuff, but I heavily favour the female garb. I'm told I act feminine, and not in a 'gay guy' way. I tend to naturally favour stereotypical girl likes dislikes aspects and as such. Guys often give me strange looks, exclude me from groups, or treat me very differently because of my noticeable traits.
I was literally told I stick out like a sore thumb.

3. What makes somebody act in a way that "doesn't belong" to the gender they identify with?

I think you mean sex but I digress.

Like, a stimuli or cause?

The brain. There's strong evidence to suggest that something happens during pregnancy, and iirc the babies brain is either developed before or after the genitals are, and during this stage some hormones can make a goof.

If it does, you end up with a female brain in a male body. Vice versa for transmen.

There is tons and tons of information and theories as to why anyone is lgbt, but being trans is imo genetic.

If you want articles or information I can provide some as requested.

 

1. How did you find out your gender identity?

- It might feel like a cliche, but this is something I just knew. Always knew, sort of like how cisgender people sort of always knew that the shoes they were given always fit--no questions asked. Something just never felt right, even from a super early age. Five, maybe way younger.

I just remember the "typical" things: In daycare (so infancy to five or so), I hated dresses, the color pink, being forced into a box that wasn't mine and binary gendered projects that had me separate from the boys--going all the way up into elementary school where my secret made me terrified to speak during kiddie games like "truth or dare" and an incident in the 1st grade where being forced to wear a skirt to school resulted in me hiding in the lavatory just losing my shit, all the way up to high school where I felt so uncomfortable to the point having intense anxiety with things like speaking in front of the class, going to the locker room and gym classes where you were split off into "boys on the left, girls on the right" sort of thing.

Inside, I always knew I was male. Always. Something felt wrong, like apart of me was missing; and when I knew what, it was a major blow. I first heard transgender people existed when I was nine or ten, sometime around 2002 maybe; and knew that's what I wanted more than anything. It's been 12 years since, and nothing has changed there.

2. Does your gender expression differs from your gender identity? How?

- Eh, not really. I guess I'm a non-binary person in some sense, I suppose, since I don't see a set way a man or woman is supposed to look or act--well, that's what I was told when I was asked about a thing a few nights ago. For me personally, my style hasn't changed since high school. I'm still the same punk-ass skater looking fella I was back then. Does my expression differ from my identity? I don't know. I guess that's up for society to debate. And honestly, some days, I don't really care what people think (the only times I care or get paranoid is when dysphoria is through the roof).

3. What makes somebody act in a way that "doesn't belong" to the gender they identify with?

- First off, I think gender roles are stupid. It's silly to confine people to a box because of what label they were smacked with from birth. Society is sad like that, well some parts of it are. People like to keep things simple and easy to understand. When someone who doesn't conform to what they've always know; they can become intimidated and scared--just because they don't understand.

Thankfully, some parts of society understand that gender is a spectrum; with places like India and Thailand recognizing more than just the binary; some countries recognize as many as FIVE genders. How cool is that?

I recommend looking into the documentary series Taboo, in which one of their episodes was on trans people. Two of the people they followed were a couple, where the husband does domestic duties like cleaning and the wife does more of the hardware and electrical repairs. It's a fantastic documentary that explores the socitial taboos with gender and how there's way more too it than what we've been told as kids.