Hi! I feel like spamming this forum, but I'm so happy I found it and I think soo much these days as I recently accepted that I'm transgendered and stoped pretending to be a girl. It's an awesome comunity So well: I've always thought that there is no way that I can become a boy, so I just have to try to be girl. It never worked very well, as you can guess:rolle: But now that I have read a lot about it I have understood that it acually IS possible to physically become a proper male (except from maybe the genitals), without toooo much pain. And I can't get the thought out of my head, it fills me with relief and happiness and I can't really see myself as a woman in the future. But, I understand that it is a huge process to change the sex and I don't really love the thought of taking T for the rest of my life. So I'm thinking about if there is any way that you can become comfortable in your own skin without hormones and surgery? I already wear mens clothes and act as I want to and so on and I love it, but I hate to be seen as a "butch-female" and refered to as a woman. I don't want to be a woman that is ignoring the "gender roles" but I guess that is what I'm seen as right now and I wish I could be comfortable with that, but I just want to be a guy. But most of all I want to be comfortble with who I am and how I am perceived, do you think there are other ways to do it than physically transitioning? I'd loved to hear your thoughts, tips, experiences or whatever!
Some of us absolutely do, but there is a catch. Keep reading though. I absolutely do not recommend hormones and surgery to everyone. Or anyone at all for that matter; I am not a doctor. The catch is, you are on hormones right now. Your body is making them, all the time. Of course these hormones have advantages. The biggest is, you don't have to pay money for these. But they are powerful drugs everyone alive is taking all the time. Hormones have a huge effect on the brain. So there are some of us for who the need to be on the right ones just won't go away no matter how we try. Some of us don't even care whether other people see us as who we really are; we just need to be who we really are. Being off testosterone has changed the way I feel and experience the world completely, in a way that gets rid of the despair and wrongness I used to feel. That doesn't have to be the bad news, though. That just means that if someone else says they had a need, we just need to respect them, even if you find a different way to deal with your problems. Now there is good news. A lot about being trans, happens on a visceral level. It's the same instinctual stuff that allows packs of wolves to form and function in the wild, even with wolves that never had parents. It's the same level as someone crying during a movie or vomiting at the sight of blood. So when people treat us like boys or like girls, it does have a huge effect on us. I feel both this, and the body problems I was talking about earlier, so it is hard for me and people like me to separate the two in our heads, and that sometimes comes out when we are giving advice. But if it turns out you are the kind of person, who is maybe wired so that being treated like a boy is way more important than your body looking and working like a typical boys, then there is absolutely a way to find your answer. And to turn something else I said earlier around, if you do find a solution along these lines, other people need to respect you. You are just as trans as me. You are just as much a man as I am a woman. We all need to find solutions to our own problems that work for us, and work with those parts of ourselves we can't change. That is what I try to encourage people to do here. Just take a hard look at yourself. I have talked to tons of people that have solved their problems just like you are suggesting. It totally works for some people. And I think honestly, it is worth a try. Have you checked the links at the top of this section? A couple of them are about helping with your voice without T, and about guy's fashion. There's lots of passing tips and help for guys that can't or just don't want to take testosterone. And of course I know the people here will help in any way we can (*hug*) ---------- Post added 21st Jun 2014 at 04:50 AM ---------- Also, if you do not mind my prodding a little, what have you heard about FtM bottom surgery? Again, if it is not for you, I know it might be something that you are just plain tired of talking about and I totally understand if you don't want the conversation to go down this road. We're here to support you, not our own ideas! Just the same, there is a lot of misinformation on phalloplasty and metoidioplasty, two FtM bottom surgeries, and if you have any questions about those we'd be happy to answer them too. I do want to mention that nearly every guy who do get those surgeries is happy with the penis he gets as a result.
Hey, this youtube video can help you out with training your voice to sound lower! How to Deepen Your Voice (for pre-T trans men) - YouTube And as for your thoughts toward physically transitioning... I suggest that you spend a lot of time researching the topic thoroughly... and keep paying attention to how you feel. What is best for you, the truth, will come to you in time. Try to be patient with yourself! Some other steps you could take to figure yourself out (if you haven't already!) is to try having your close friends and/or family call you by male pronouns and a male name, and seeing how that makes you feel. Some good websites to visit are transbucket.com (you will need to make an account, but there is a lot of photos and info of transgender surgeries there) and youtube.com (a lot of transmen have documented their transitions with surgeries, name change, testosterone, and other parts of transmale life there. There are even a lot of transmen from Sweden there! check out users "Danielsbestdays" and "sillyyetsuccinct", they are from Sweden.)
http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/care_program_and_services/hospital_services/Documents/hormones-FTM.pdf and http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/care_program_and_services/hospital_services/Documents/surgery-FTM.pdf are good resources to read more about hormones/surgery. I really don't know any ways to be more comfortable with dysphoria but I wish you good luck in trying
Thank you so much for your awnsers and advices! Where I live it is possible to get treatment paid if you are "diagnosed" as transgender/transsexual but getting the diagnosis takes at least a year of psychological examinations, so i guess i will have time to think and learn. But I'm taking the first step towards this "gender-examinations" this tuesday and I'm so excited As for bottom surgery I havn't read so much about it, only that it's difficult and that the results seldom is so good. So it's really great to hear that some guys are happy with the results! I haven't really had problems with it before, but the more I realize and accept that I'm transgender, the more it feels like something is missing (is that "usual"?), so I don't say I'm not thinking about it. Actually I really think that I will transition totally one day, I wish I hadn't to, but it's like I'm trying out all different thougths to really see if that is what I want and If I really am transgendered. At my heart I guess I know that that's the case, but I really want to be sure and I guess I somewere hope that there can be another explaination for all that I experience. Anyway, thanks a lot for all your tips and links and thoughts, I really appreciate it!
if you're patient, ftm bottom surgery is getting better and better as time goes on. so there is hope!
I've heard that almost all guys that get bottom surgery are satisfied with the results. Plus as stormborn said hopefully it will just keep getting better
