After posting my first post in the welcome lounge I find myself feeling very welcomed . My gender, and its expression, are the whole reason I'm here. So I guess I'm looking for guidance of some kind. As I meantioned in my last post my partner is incredibly supportive with all of this, fortunately. Some background: I'm male, and have a very masculine body. This said I don't always feel like a man. I've been like this all of my life. As a child I thuroughly enjoyed playing with traditionally male toys, I also had a strong desire to also play with female toys (this was never indulged). I secretly did some exploring in early adolescence, of both my gender and sexuality, both done alone. While I was caught a few times, it went unspoken. Up till recently I'd stopped even considering exploring gender (with the attitude that I'm a man and I guess I have to live with it), and I explored sexuality in private, which caused quite a lot of shame. I initially thought I might be transgender, but I'm very happy as a masculine male at times, and while if I'm honest I don't identify as strictly a man or woman. After doing a lot of research I'm thinking I might be gender fluid, as some days I lean toward feeling masculine, other days feminine (these can be feelings of 100% either way), and then there are some days that I don't feel like anything. My styles tend to change accordingly (though all my cloths are male). I'd love to hear ways in which others explored/discovered their gender, as I don't even know where to begin.
