I'm stuck in a rut right now, I'm an unemployed student who goes to college full time and I live with my dad who gets disability benefits, and my mum who gets paid to be his carer, so in case you couldn't tell already, money isn't something we have to throw around. I see so many people say that people aren't "really" trans because they don't present that way, and I'm scared to come out because the majority of my clothes are feminine and my hair's long and i don't pass at all, my friend wants to bring me to a trans support group, but I'm so scared they wouldn't take me seriously due to the lack of presentation, and I'm scared to come out to people until I can start presenting masculine in case they think I'm lying/attention seeking etc. I'm just so stuck and anxious and I don't know what to do, does anyone have any advice?
I'm not the most knowledgable person when it comes to trans* issues, but I will say this - If you go to that trans support group, I can almost guarantee that nobody will question you if you don't look 100% masculine, or even 50% masculine when you first go there. You wouldn't seem attention seeking. You wouldn't appear to be lying. You honestly just don't know yet how to be masculine. You haven't had the resources to buy different clothes, or hormones, or ask for professional help. How would you know how to present as masculine? I doubt that you'd be the first person to go to the trans support group who wasn't entirely sure what they're doing yet. That's what the group is for though: to provide information and resources for helping you feel your best.
If someone feels they are trans then it doesn't matter how they present. There are plenty of femme trans guys and butch trans women out there. Also, no one is going to shun you for not presenting male because we have all been there. That stage were we are just figuring things out and don't feel we can present how we feel, whether for safety reasons or lack of confidence in our gender etc. Trust me, everyone in there will be able to sympathize. Trans people are some of the most excepting people you will ever meet. If you say that you identify as male then they will believe you, even if you waltz in there in a dress. Just be yourself, if you identify as male then being you is being masculine. good luck
