So recently i've been going through lots of self discovery and have come to the conclusion I'm trans, and that was fine, my sexuality hasn't been a big deal to me, I don't like to use labels when it comes to my own sexuality because it's just a giant cluster fu-k of "what?" But I came out to my partner as trans after thinking I was genderfluid for a year, and once I accepted the trans label my dysphoria went down so much, and I could do normal things again without worrying too much about my body, because I know later on in life I can transition with supportive people (money situation doesn't let me yet and I still present female due to lack of masculine clothing and money to gain some) Whilst I wasn't sure on my gender, I couldn't have sex with my partner, I'm normally a very sexual person, but it made me feel dysphoric and wrong. Then it came back, but it's a lot more dulled down, I can still have sex with the partner, I enjoy the sensations and experience of foreplay, but the actual sex... I just, I don't enjoy it as much as I did, it feels wrong, and my interest in the foreplay is slowly decreasing. My partner is cool with me not wanting to have sex, and we had a conversation after I was scared to say no (abusive ex's and things) and they told me I can say no at any time. So this leaves me wondering, am I asexual? I don't mind sex to please my partner, but I don't really get that much out of it, however I do enjoy masturbation and the climax it (and my partner) can bring me. Any advice?
Here are some questions that might be helpful: Do you experience sexual attraction? Whether or not you're comfortable having sex is a different story and with dysphoria it sounds like it makes you uncomfortable, but are you sexually attracted to your partner (or others)? If you had a body that matched your gender would you be comfortable having sex? Do you think that you don't get much out of it because of your dysphoria or just because it isn't your thing? I hope this helps, also here's a website that I found really helpful in realizing I was asexual: Possible Signs of Asexuality – Part 1: About You | Asexuality Archive Keep in mind that everyone is different and you can still be asexual if you have sex or enjoy masturbation. You may also want to look into demisexuality or gray-asexuality. Good luck (*hug*)
^ yeah I second this It all comes down to whether you're sexually attracted to people or not. Also yeah, sexuality can be fluid, so maybe it has changed. Or maybe, you're just not feelin' it right now.
Asexuality is an absence of sexual attraction, rather than enjoyment. They often come together, but the question you should ask is whether you're attracted to your partner.
