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What does "femme" mean when applied to a guy?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Damien, Jun 26, 2014.

  1. Damien

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    I have heard the term used, and have tried to look it up on the net, but the definitions I got all referred to lesbians, not to gay men. What exactly is a femme guy? Does it refer to a guy who is camp in their manner, or to a guy who, rather than being all muscly and strong, is rather soft and effeminate in appearance and manner, yet nevertheless still dresses like a guy, etc? Or does it mean something other than either of these? I just wanted to know...

    thanks
     
  2. Nychthemeron

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    I always took it to be another word for "effeminate," as you said.
     
  3. Gen

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    Femme is a term for an individual who predominantly displays qualities deemed to be feminine. Femininity is the quality of displaying characteristics commonly associated with woman in society. To be camp is to exhibit exaggerated feminine qualities. Finally, expression does not dictate outward appearance. There are plenty of masculine women who were skirts and feminine men with muscles and beards. Correlations between the two aren't rare, but aren't something to be expected either.
     
  4. Damien

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    Thank you for that detailed answer...I have a better idea of what it means now. :slight_smile:
     
  5. PlantSoul

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    That he acts effeminate.
     
  6. thevenerable

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  7. OGS

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    It's funny--I guess I would know what it means but I've never heard a gay man described as such. I think of it as a lesbian term...
     
  8. Damien

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  10. gravechild

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    The only thing I'd add is that those traits described as being "camp" in gay men are more often than not stereotypes associated with women.
     
  11. acciocarrie

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    Pretty sure it is a lesbian term. And it's weird... you don't see people using terms for gay men like "twink" or "bear" to describe lesbians, so why are terms like "femme" used to describe gay men?

    :confused2:
     
  12. Damien

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    On that note, what do the terms 'twink' and 'bear' mean? lol I have so much to learn...
     
  13. OGS

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    Twinks are youngish or at least young looking generally clean shaven gay men. Generally the youthfulness is meant with a somewhat negative spin, connoting immaturity or petulance. Randy Harrison's character from Queer as Folk was an uber-twink. A friend of mine describes it thus and I think it's apt for the way I generally hear the term used: "twinks are gay guys that look like they would squeak when you fucked them.":lol:

    I fear I would misspeak in defining bears, I was a twink I've never been a bear.:lol: But, I guess it is used to describe a larger, sort of cuddly, hairy gay man who projects a certain type of unproblematic, very traditional masculinity but quite often combined with a really striking sensitivity and openness. I don't have a crass but apt friend quote for this one.:confused:
     
  14. happydavid

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    Isn't it when a man behaves like a woman. The opposite to a tom boy
     
  15. Damien

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    ha you made me laugh with that one!

    On another note, whenever I think of Chicago, the song "Sweet Home Chicago" from 'The Blues Brothers' always comes to mind :slight_smile: That movie had a pretty strong cult following in my city, once upon a time...people used to dress up and all kinds of stuff in the movie theater. It was quite entertaining to witness.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0zyuc_2UVg

    ---------- Post added 30th Jun 2014 at 01:20 PM ----------

    I must say that, according to the most expert reply far above, it is not a clear-cut term, and some are saying it ought not to be used in reference to guys at all...maybe I will just use the term 'effeminate' when referring to the kinds of guys I feel drawn to, in future, since there is some controversy regarding the term, 'femme'.

    So much to learn... :icon_bigg