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Being a Tomboy/ is it possible this is a phase

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by AllenL, Jun 30, 2014.

  1. AllenL

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Somewhere dark, where it snows too much.
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Is it weird to want to be a girl, yet want to be more tomboyish. I don't understand whether this is just a byproduct of being raised a boy, or perhaps it could signify this being a phase (I've got my fingers crossed.) The thing is, I didn't really identify with female until 7th grade (12 or 13 years old, and 2 years ago) but I was never really comfortable with my body before that. I had no sisters until I was 9, and with only an older brother, I only got the male side of things. Even when I was little, I knew something was up, I never minded RPing with my cousin (still do RP in fact), and dreams where I was someone/something else were the best dreams. I was usually excluded when it came to school (which was a private school, and there was only 4 other kids) and then I moved. The place I am at right now, my reputation makes me seem like i have no problems (yeah right), and I have absolutely no way of looking feminine, though I've tried. I feel stuck:help: in a hole, and I've wanted so badly to confess to friends when the dysphoria gets bad, but never could.
    This year alone (to give you An idea of what my school district is like) 5 of my closest friends are leaving, 4 of them because of bullying.
    It's all starting to become too much and I hope that this curse I have can just go away.:bang:
     
  2. Hexagon

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    It's possible it's a phase.

    What I suspect is more likely is that you, like me, aren't entirely binary. Gender is far more complex than male/female, and you don't have to be feminine to be a woman.
     
  3. birdking

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    Yeah! gender roles and gender itself are completely separate. I myself am sort of a feminine trans man. I'm sorry, but I doubt it's a phase.

    Dysphoria is terrible, but it sounds like you're in a situation where you could be bullied very badly. If you don't feel safe at school, I don't think you should come out at school. You should only come out to people you trust, because sadly, trans people still aren't widely accepted.

    However, there are still things you can do to help with dysphoria in the meantime, like dressing up at home and stuff.

    Hope I helped!
     
  4. Sayu

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    Yes, it is possible it is a phase. I used to be a really tough tomboy for years and years. When I met my boyfriend for the first time, I thought I wanted to become more girly and more attractive. After about a month, we've started dating. Now I'm a different person. It's not that he asked me to change, it's more the fact that he makes me feel like a girl and that this feeling makes me want to dress/act more like a girl as well :slight_smile:

    Good luck!
     
  5. Wuggums47

    Wuggums47 Guest

    Maybe it's a phase, but I think it's more likely that it's simply who you are. In my opinion wether they are trans or cis, tomboys are awesome.