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Changing names

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by tone, Jul 2, 2014.

  1. tone

    Regular Member

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    So I'm only out as trans to three friends and my sister and they've all been great and everything with being accepting. But, the thing is I want them to use my male name and sometimes they forget and I don't want to correct them all the time or even at all because I'm not a very confident person and try to avoid confrontation and such.

    The other thing is, I have a name that I really love, Cole. My friends all think it's great and when I first came out to them they were like "omg Cole Cole Cole" and all that. That's also what I've been calling myself and thinking of myself as for the entire time I've known I was trans. But, my sister really wants me to have a name that starts with the same letter as my birth name, she suggested Sam. I know it's easier for people to adjust if it sounds similar and all and it doesn't bother me as much as my birth name because, hey at least it's male. But, I'm so attached to the name Cole and I really want to use it. Again, I'm really non-confrontational and I don't want to be rude so I don't know how to bring it up.

    How did you get people to start calling you by your chosen name?
     
  2. Jay47

    Jay47 Guest

    I was only 8 years old at the time I chose my name, but I made it as simple as possible but still fitting myself. I always thought of myself as Jay Michael (insert last name). Michael, being a play on my given middle name. The switch was really easy, except for my grandparents, who don't remember things all that well in their 80s.

    I like the name Cole.
    The biggest way for people to switch is to hear you introduce yourself to new people as your chosen name.
     
  3. KayJay

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    I legally changed my name right after I came out which kind of forced my family to use my new name.

    I think you should go with Cole, if that is what you like best! If you don't like being confrontational (like me!) it can be a little harder. It is kind of hard without reminding people because it is a pretty different thing for people, especially people who may have known you for many many years. What I usually do is only remind them occasionally and not every single time. It would probably get it into their heads faster if you remind them every time but it may make them annoyed.

    Just be patient and in time people will be calling you whichever name you choose :slight_smile:
     
  4. Acm

    Acm Guest

    You should use Cole. You don't really get many chances to change your name in life so you should make sure it's something that you like :slight_smile:
     
  5. Entrian

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    Cole is a really rad name! I chose mine based on my nickname, so I had a way of explaining what it was short for without having to say my birthname, but choosing your own name is totally great and if being Cole makes you happy, call yourself Cole!
     
  6. PlantSoul

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    You can remind them without being confrontational. I'm sure that they understand how important this is to you. They probably won't mind getting reminded.
     
  7. birdking

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    My parents wanted me to go by Alan but I dislike that name (no offense meant to any Alans out there) so I let them know I preferred Andy and everything was fine

    I doubt they'd argue about it, Cole is a cool name. Nice choice.
     
  8. Nick07

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    You can ask your sister to change your name in the contact list she probably has on her phone. It could be a reminder too.
     
  9. tone

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    Thanks everyone, I'm going to try reminding people instead of just letting it go, I think they won't mind as long as I don't do it too much. And I'll talk to my sister, it might make the change a little harder for her but in the end, it's going to be a hard change no matter what and I'd rather have a name that I really like
     
  10. FireSmoke

    FireSmoke Guest

    Cole is a cool name! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: