confused

I consider those two terms very offensive, I know a few who don't but it is best to avoid them.

I am really not sure about the sexual orientation part. Bi could be misleading, as you wouldn't date a cis woman, correct? Now I am confused!

 

I don't know a lot about terms and offensiveness but for sexual orientation, you might be biromantic homosexual so you're romantically attracted to both men and women but sexually attracted to male parts?

 

Androsexual is the inclusive term for someone attracted to penises. So androsexual biromantic maybe? Or just say bisexual, it's really no ones place to know that your lady friend is trans. You should probably refrain from terms like tranny and shemale, as they're used 99% of the time in a derogatory way. Just treat her like any other girl and you should be fine.

 

She sounds like a woman to me. Are you attracted to her, or are you attracted to the idea of her having a male body/parts?

This is probably where distinctions between sex and gender break down. In most people, the two align, but when they don't? It causes major confusion for most people, when considering their sexuality.

There's no reason you can't still refer to yourself as gay, with one exception. Unless it becomes a pattern, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just make sure she knows why you're interested in her sexually. Plenty of gay men and women have had sex and relationships with members of the opposite sex, but that doesn't change their orientation.

 

I would maybe try to avoid talking about orientations around her. If you are with her and still call yourself gay, she may see that as you think of her as a man, which may make her really upset. It may not, but if it was me that would definitely make me quite upset.

 

Good point. There are plenty of lesbians and bisexual women who have "exceptions" for trans men, effeminate Asian males, etc. even if they prefer women as a whole. I happen to prefer longer hair on men, while shorter hair on women (the reverse would be a turn-off at worst, and get a "meh" response from me at best).

@OP I think it's important to see transsexuals as men and women, and not some separate category. A trans woman is a woman, just like a black woman is a woman, a queer woman is a woman, a dominatrix is a woman. Perhaps you're into this one type of woman, for whatever reason, but generally prefer men.

Why not tell her what you've told us?

 

Those terms are just as bad as if someone called you a f*ggot. I also heavily associate those terms with the porn industry and fetishists that don't consider transgendered people to be real people. The proper term is trans woman, or you could ignore that she's trans completely and just call her a woman. She didn't turn out to be a guy, she turned out to be trans.

I understand that this might be a bit confusing for your orientation, I would go with queer. I'm not sure I like androsexual, it places to much of an emphasis on biology, but then again I suppose her biology is why you can like her in the first place, so I don't know. If you wanted you can keep on going on as gay, it really all depends on what you want to call yourself.

 

Yes. She is a woman, and despite her body, you have to start thinking about her as a her all the time in any situation. You aren't attracted to vagina, and that's ok. But she is a woman despite everything. Just call her a woman.

I would suggest just presenting yourself as bisexual for now. You don't have to go after every woman, just this one.

(sorry if I'm coming across as harsh or anything - you're doing well for your situation and it's ok to be confused)