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dysphoria and other stuff help

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by jaska, Jul 4, 2014.

  1. jaska

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    new zealand
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Two things

    How did you know you were really trans and it wasn't a phase?and do you think there is a certain amount of years you could wait before its safe to say you really are a boy/girl?
    and
    When you first realised you were trans, had you been having dysphoria before that, or if not, did you begin to have more dysphoria as time went on?

    Deez things been bothering moi in poco :confused:

    (I hate doubting myself)
    :bang::tears:

    :help:
     
  2. birdking

    Full Member

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    Hello!

    It took me a long time to figure out it wasn't a phase. I think what really sealed the deal for me was the fact that I couldn't see myself as an adult woman.

    I've had dysphoria since I was about 12. I didn't know it was dysphoria at first but I knew something was wrong/out of the ordinary. I told my parents I was questioning when I was 14 and I've been seeing therapists since then. I started out identifying as genderqueer because I do not fit the male stereotype, but soon came to terms with my actual gender.

    With the dysphoria, once I realized what it was that was causing it, it got much worse. I started noticing it everywhere. I've heard lots of people on this forum say the same thing so I think that's normal.

    Sadly, doubting yourself is part of the process :frowning2: but once you figure this all out you'll feel much better!
     
  3. Nychthemeron

    Full Member

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    Hi there.

    I'm quite sure I'm trans, but I'm afraid it really is just a long phase or something. If I do turn out to be cisgender, it would cause a really big shitstorm within my family and the online communities I'm in.

    Anyway, sorry. Those were my concerned ramblings.

    I've probably had "transgender feelings" for 7-8+ years. I'm 14 (yeah, I know, what a young little shit I am), but these feelings only got worse later on.

    When I was seven or so, I registered on a site as male. I made a really good friend, and about a year later, I told her in code (I was corny, okay?) that "I wasn't really a boy" and "I'm sorry I lied".

    I don't think she ever read it.

    Later on, I made another friend on another site. We became quick friends, and again, I introduced myself as male. Ironically and not, I named myself after how I should "get a clean slate," referring to how I "lied" to others about my gender.

    After the site shut down, we kept in touch. It was yet another year before I finally decided to "come clean" and tell her that "I lied".

    She took it very badly. She was really angry at me. I think she thought I lied to her about my age or something, I don't know. But when I apologized to her, she forgave me, on the behalf that I shared "the truth" with her.

    Turns out, the only "truth" I had to give was my real first name. I was dramatic as hell, damn!

    Anyway, she forgave me. And then she started to call me "sister" and my female name.

    That's when I began to feel weird.

    I searched the internet and I came across the word "transgender". In my young, stupid mind, I thought transgender people were older people. I didn't think I could be transgender, because the concept was alien to me. It still is, honestly. I can't call myself trans or transgender without getting this weird feeling, but I can't call myself cis or cisgender either, so yeah.

    Once I found out I was trans, I quickly told my friend and she was extremely supportive. I also told my other friends. They were also supportive. I felt happier, like I wasn't lying anymore.

    And that's how I knew I was trans.

    TL;DR: During my denial, I felt like I was lying. When I finally came to terms that I was transgender, I came out to some of my internet friends, and I no longer felt as if I was lying. That's how I knew I was trans.

    Like Birdking, I had dysphoria before I realized I was transgender. I just didn't know what it was. It was this really weird feeling when someone called me by female pronouns (online), and when someone asked me if I was a girl or insisted I was a girl, I would get upset. I didn't know why back then, but once I understood what it was, it seems harder to deal with. Sort of like the "No one will ever see me as male" mentality instead of the "I don't want to lie" mentality I once had.
     
  4. Acm

    Acm Guest

    I was really worried it was a phase for a long time and I still worry about it sometimes because of my anxiety. I don't think there's a certain amount of time you have to wait, although I gave myself about 6 months after I started questioning to see for sure.

    I've had dysphoria my entire life but I never knew what it was. It definitely got worse after I realized I was trans, since I realized what was bothering me and I couldn't stop focusing on it.
     
  5. PlantSoul

    Regular Member

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    I had the feelings of wanting to be a boy, ever since I was a very small child. The feelings where there all my life, but it took me a very long to figure out what they meant and then to finally accept the fact. I don't recall ever thinking that it was just a phase. Though, I might have wished that I were.

    I have had dysphoria for a very long time. It was until recently that I realized that my depersonalization was gender dysphoria. I kept trying to assert it as being due to other things.

    I tried to force myself into thinking that I was a cis female for a long time and that I just had to learn to deal with it. I tried, but it never worked. I identified as being a genderqueer, for a short period of time, until I finally realized that I was actually Trans.

    I am assuming that amount of years it can take to be sure, depends on the person.