HTML: I've been thinking about coming out to my parents recently but just have no idea what to do. I'm feeling completely stuck. I've been isolating myself recently because I don't want to go anywhere or do anything and now I just feel empty. I don't even know what's going through my mind. I'm not sure if I've had gender dysphoria or not recently because it's nothing specific. My automatic reaction is that things would be better if I came out but I don't know if it would change anything. I tried typing out a coming out letter just to see what it would be like but hated doing it because I didn't even know what I'd say. I'd like to live my life as a guy. That's all. :bang: I'm so confused and don't know where to go from here. Can someone please help me out??
(This should probably be in the Coming Out Board.) About your situation, what I would do is think about it in a quiet place and ask yourself what you are confused and uncertain about. This always helps me because you can reflect on yourself and it's a chance to cool down from the stress you feel from this kind of thing. Why do you feel empty and how should you change that? Are you depressed? Why are you hesitant to come out to your parents? Are they LGBT-phobic? If your automatic reaction is that coming out would be a good thing, I think you should go along with your instincts. You know yourself better than anyone here. And sometimes a short, straight-to-the-point letter is better for coming out. It's less for your parents to take in with a short letter, and if you say you're open for questions, you wouldn't be "leaving them in the dark" or trying to avoid telling them details.
what would you like to change? i had a hard time deciding to come out to my parents, too. part of the reason stems from the fact that the change i desire is impossible: coming out wouldn't make me a cis guy like i wish i was. coming out wouldn't even get me closer to testosterone or surgery, or make everyone magically use the right pronouns, so what is the point, right? eventually i kind of just figured that it would be the start of the entire process. i was tired of isolating myself, as you said, and i felt terrible for my parents having to have a hot gender mess of a kid. i wanted them to know that i'm a boy, instead of having to guess it. i'm not sure if that personal anecdote helped you at all, but i think i'd take baby steps. think about the little steps you need to take to get to live as a guy, like you said you want. be specific in what you want in your letter, and if you think your parents are going to be supporting, i'm sure they will oblige if it is nothing too radical.
You can always come out as "questioning." When I first came out I told my parents I was questioning my gender. I think it was easier on them (not to say this has gone smoothly haha but they try their best)
