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Forever Young: Not a Good Thing

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by justjade, Jul 7, 2014.

  1. justjade

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    I was wondering about this recently: If you're a trans guy, and you never take T, don't people wonder about your gender? I mean, if you don't take it, then you don't grow facial hair, and you have to do a lot of work to get your voice deeper. So then, do you always look like a prepubescent boy? Are there ways you can look older? I know the way you dress has a lot to do with it. I think, though, that right now, I'm kind of psychologically transitioning from my teenage boy phase to my young-man-who's-newly-introduced-to-adult-life-and-responsibilities phase, like I'm 18 or something.

    However, I'm 25. All the males my age can grow beards, albeit patchy depending on the guy. They're at least 5'7", some over 6' tall. They generally just look older than teenagers.

    But how do you deal with having a round face, no capacity to grow facial hair, and being short?

    Mind you, I have my own reasons for not taking T besides that it's expensive. For one, all the males in my family are bald. As much as my hair pisses me off because it's so thick, I don't want it all to fall out. And being married to a straight guy, I don't want to grow body hair. I still want to be attractive to him because he's the most amazing guy in the world, and I love him. :love:
     
  2. looking for me

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    JJ not shaving is a blessing, trust me on that one. as for being short with a round face? lot of that going around :lol: just be the man you are:thumbsup:(*hug*)

    ETA: since im almost double your age, being young looking isn't so bad, my dad is like that and he has only started looking his age in the last couple of years and he's 72, he was in his 60's looking like 40's and im in my 40's and feel i look like im in my late 50's (on a good day). enjoy what you have buddy.
     
    #2 looking for me, Jul 7, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2014
  3. confuzzled82

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    JJ - I agree. Not needing to shave is a GOOD thing. And I've known plenty of guys with rounder faces. And, if you don't like your hair being so thick, every hairstylist I've been to has used thinning shears on my hair. (I am lucky in that I've inherited my hair from my mom's side of the family - nice and thick) Sure you may look a few years younger than your chronological age, but you will mature, and won't be stuck looking like a prepubecent boy. Remember, everyone who has gone thru puberty has some testosterone and estrogen in their systems, the balance is just different. It may just take a little longer for aging to happen. Don't worry about it. If you don't think you need hormones, don't bother with them. It'll save you some health risks (all drugs have health risks)
     
  4. Nychthemeron

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    I'm 4'11"

    ...

    : (

    (okay, ignore my self-pitying moment)

    Many cis men shave, don't they? And some are short, too.

    I have to admit that I thought Justin Bieber was fourteen when he was actually seventeen or eighteen.
     
  5. looking for me

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    JJ i assume that the pic on your avatar is you. you do not look prepubsenent. you look like a very good looking young man. and if you weren't married i'd hit on you like there's no tomorrow.:icon_wink
     
  6. anonym

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    I think even trans guys who take t look extremely young for their age so tbh there's not much difference. Yes, you can grow a beard but then again, not all guys can or want to but it won't change your height or the shape of your face.
     
  7. justjade

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    Thanks, guys. :slight_smile:

    Maybe I'm just overly sensitive because I've learned all the "tells" of trans guys. I guess it takes one to know one. I have actually explicitly passed a few times recently, which makes me feel pretty good.

    There are lots of short cis-guys out there, Nychthemeron. I'm 5'4", the same height as Michael J. Fox and Seth Green. Kevin Hart is only 5'2". Hell, you're almost as tall as Danny Devito! I did think Justin Bieber was really young, too. He just always looked like he was 14 to me, and years later, it seems that nothing has changed. I'm not even sure he can grow any facial hair besides that wispy mustache. I think I'll start using him as motivation. "As long as I look manlier than Justin Bieber, I'm golden." :lol:

    ---------- Post added 7th Jul 2014 at 04:36 PM ----------

    Yes, that's me. That picture's probably a year old, but I don't really look much different, except that I buzzed all my hair off in the heat of a panic attack. 'Twas not a good time at all. And thank you. You are so sweet. (*^_^*)
     
  8. Nychthemeron

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    Hahaha

    ...

    wait, Justin Bieber has a wispy mustache? That's new.

    But yeah, I agree with looking for me. You look great without T!
     
  9. justjade

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    That's very true. I don't know why I keep thinking that T is some kind of miracle masculinizing drug or something. It can only do so much. And I've seen cis-women with dark facial hair before. I guess it's statistically impossible for all men to grow beards anyway. Hm.... :confused:
     
  10. Nychthemeron

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    About having dark facial hair, apparently I'm a bit on the paler side, but I have dark hair, so my 'peach fuzz' has been called a mustache by other guys before.

    I wish I could've said, "Well, at least I'm manlier than you" and flex my imaginary muscles.
     
  11. justjade

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    It was hard for me to believe, too, but here it is!

    http://img.bulawayo24.com/articles/Justin-Bieber-_hair.jpg

    And yeah, as far as I can tell, that's the only facial hair he can grow.

    And also, thanks. I really appreciate it. :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 7th Jul 2014 at 04:47 PM ----------

    That's pretty great. I'm pale, but my arm hair is practically invisible, as is most of my leg hair. I bet even if I could grow a beard, it would be kind of light.
     
  12. confuzzled82

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    I just thought of something. Everyone has hair everywhere on their body except the palms of their hands and the soles of their feet. It's just, except for post-pubescent males, much of it remains vellus hair. It is what often softens up the appearance of womens and childrens faces for example. You could shave this off your face, and that will toughen up your facial skin a bit, just like a typical males, even without any hormones...
     
  13. justjade

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    That's a good point. I think I'll do that.
     
  14. clockworkfox

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    I do this all the time any more. I don't know if it changes the way I'm perceived (I've noticed people tend to try not to gender me until I open my mouth), but it does make me feel...more confident? Sexier? More like a dude in his early twenties? If nothing else, it's psychologically validating, is what I'm saying. :thumbsup:
     
  15. SockPuppet

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    I'm not convinced that's actually facial hair, but rather a chocolate milk moustache. Or possibly something he snorted off a prostitute with his 'posse' or whatever he calls his hangers on. I'm so ashamed to call that kid a fellow Canadian. Ugh, but I digress.

    JJ, you just know I think you're a cutie patootie. :kiss:

    Looking young in your twenties feels annoying. Once you hit your 30's and still look young? Total change, it's awesome! :grin:

    That said, if you want to experiment with facial hair without fear of turning off you significant other, why not go to a costume supply store and get some human hair facial hair appliances. They can feel a little weird at first (speaking from theatre and film experience), but they can be a fun way to mess around with your look. Just need a little spirit gum to apply, and voila, whole different you.
    It's like being a secret agent. :lol:
     
  16. PotatoSmuggler

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    I dont plan on taking T either, but top surgery is a definite for me. I got blessed with a pretty androgynous face and a skinny build. Plus, I would rather look like a 12 year old boy until I'm 30 than be completely bald by the time I'm 20. And i just don't think T is a viable option since i want as little surgery as possible and if i was taking T long term I'd probably have to get a full hysto and that just sounds like shit tbh. Baby face all the way.
     
  17. justjade

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    SockPuppet, if we were having dinner, I'd order unsweetened tea and have you swish your finger around in it. You are too cute. :kiss: And I use the phrase cutie patootie, too! :lol:

    I feel your pain about having to claim Justin Bieber a fellow Canadian. I'm not Canadian, but if I was, I'm sure I'd be pretty ashamed, too. Him and Shania Twain and Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger. Actually, most of the artists I dislike are from Canada, which makes me feel kind of bad because it really sounds like a nice place. Oh, and I forgot Celine Dion. Don't really like her either.

    Actually, I could pre-pre-test facial hair. I guess there's an app for that or something. And I have photoshop. I do think a little rugged stubble would be nice though. :grin:

    ---------- Post added 7th Jul 2014 at 10:51 PM ----------

    Oh, goodness, not a hysto. Yeah, I don't think I could handle that either. As much as my ovaries piss me off, I'd really like to keep them functioning. I'd rather have a healthy female body than an unhealthy, more masculine one. My husband told me that my body just runs on estrogen. It's the way it's built. In his words, "It doesn't matter how much you like diesel. If you don't have a diesel car, you have to put regular gas in it." I, too, would like to have as little done to my body as possible. Top surgery, then nothing else. Growing up, people have told me I have an androgynous face, too. I don't look distinctly masculine, but I don't look distinctly feminine either.

    ---------- Post added 7th Jul 2014 at 10:51 PM ----------

    Also a good point. :thumbsup:
     
  18. Soniex

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    Okay here goes my story and maybe it will give you a little insight. I am a biological male just a few weeks before I turn 27, and I look like I'm 16 still. The oldest anyone has ever guessed my age is 18. It takes me 2 weeks to grow facial hair it takes most guys 3 days, I'm only 5'5 and even at 26 my voice still cracks like I'm still going through puberty. These are only a few of many many many characteristics I have that pretty much go against most biological males. (Probably the most frustrating part is that I've never been able to find a reason as to why I'm like this)

    Needless to say, given my characteristics, I don't feel very male. Now mos people would find benefits to looking so young and not having to shave as often, but take it from someone who has looked young his entire life, it isn't a dreamboat. In high school my senior year I looked about the age of a freshman, as such I could never get dates with people my own age, if I wanted a date it would have to be a freshman. Also I'm not very tall for a guy, which is a much bigger boon than it might seem. I am literally constantly looked down upon simply because I'm rather short, and most larger males seem to think that just because they're taller that makes them better than me. Also being so short makes it even harder to get a date because most females won't date someone shorter than they are or are simply into taller guys. Not to mention being hounded nearly every day about how amazingly young I look for my age gets really tiring really quick.

    My whole point to this post though is that looking young is not all it's cracked up to be. I can imagine by the time I'm about 50 I'll start reaping some benefits, but until then it's pretty miserable.
     
  19. birdking

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    I FEEL YOU ON THE HAIR THING. My dad is bald and my grandpa is so bald he doesn't even have eyebrows. I am so concerned about going bald but I'm going through with T anyway.

    I'm also 5'4" but I know a few guys that are shorter than me so it doesn't bother me too much. I MEAN THE FACT THAT I LOOK 14 KINDA SUCKS but hey whatever, that will go away with time. As we get older I bet the extra youth will be a blessing rather than a curse.

    But yeah, just wanted to say that T isn't for everyone! People tend to treat it like a miracle cure, but it's really not. I'm sure there are cis men out there who would rather not have all the things that T comes with, even if they wouldn't admit it. Not doing HRT doesn't make you any less of a man and I wish people would stop implying that it does.

    EDIT: Also, yeah, shave your face. If nothing else, it's a confidence boost!
     
    #19 birdking, Jul 7, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2014
  20. Oddish

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    Looks like me and Bieber share the same sort of 'chocolate milk mustache' :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: Unfortunately I know how frustrating it is to pass, but pass as a fourteen year old boy or younger. I mean, I'm averaging around 5'3, I'm skinny, even with slight facial hair I pass maybe 60% of the time at best.

    I was on T for ten months, but I've been tapering off with the intentions to stop for a while, because of personal reasoning. I may go back on it in some time, perhaps, or continue with a low dose. While it did a lot of good for me, it wasn't a "miracle drug", either. T didn't even really help me much when it came to passing with the exception of a deep voice, honestly. It's not a cure-all, and it's not required to be a (passing) guy. If anything, I'll just embrace the baby face and shave the wispy facial hair when need be.