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Feeling like I can't attract anyone because of gender identity

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by RayXxx, Jul 7, 2014.

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  1. RayXxx

    RayXxx Guest

    So pretty much I'm 19, have never kissed anyone or even been on a date. I dress in masculine clothing and I wouldn't change a thing about me being a transguy. Recently I've been feeling so lonely but I feel like I can't attract anyone. Shamefully I've been trying dating websites with still no luck. Every time I message someone they say I'm attractive, but I can't help but feel they don't have an interest in me because of my gender identity. I try and put forth some effort to communicate with them but then they eventually end up ignoring me altogether. These people are nice but I can tell they lack interest in me. I don't know what to do or how to get someone interested in me. I just feel like I will be alone the rest of my life because of this. They don't even give me a chance.

    I was wondering if any of you have faced this problem regarding your gender. Can you offer any advice? How do you find people who are attracted to transexuals?
     
    #1 RayXxx, Jul 7, 2014
  2. KayJay

    KayJay
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    This is exactly my situation as well. Regular dating sites are generally not too accepting of transfolk and trans specific ones are all people looking for sex. It seems impossible to be honest. I do not really have any advice sadly, just letting you know there is someone out there in the same boat.
     
    #2 KayJay, Jul 7, 2014
  3. Nychthemeron

    Nychthemeron
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    I feel the same way, except that it's an intangible fear right now.

    No one has expressed romantic interest in me before, and coupled with my low self-esteem when it comes to dating, I feel like my gender identity will kill the attraction anyone has towards me, especially since I'm pre-everything and not out.

    However, as much as we fear this, know that there bisexual and pansexual people out there who simply don't care about your gender. Some gay and straight people also don't care, believe it or not, but they tend to be rarer, because sexuality has a lot to do with the physical body. You can't blame a lesbian for being attracted to a female body and a gay man for being attracted to a male one, can you?

    It only gets yucky when they insist you're a girl when you're not, or a boy when you're not. These people are unavoidable, both offline and online.
     
    #3 Nychthemeron, Jul 8, 2014
  4. Acm

    Acm Guest

    I worry about this a lot, I've never kissed anyone or had a date. The only person that's ever liked me was when I was in 3rd grade so it doesn't even count.
     
    #4 Acm, Jul 8, 2014
  5. Candace

    Candace
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    Well the head of our LGBT organization on campus is a trans guy. He's dated some and has a boyfriend with whom he lives with. I think that you should have more faith, get back out there and try again! Being woeful and downtrodden won't get you your man/girl! :slight_smile:

    Best of luck to you! YOU GOT THIS!
     
    #5 Candace, Jul 8, 2014
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