So... I just turned 17 not even a month ago. I've been experiencing gender dysphoria since I was in kindergarten, but never really realized it till I was around 15 or 16. Well, my dad fakes supportive. He won't let me come out, for one, even if he lets me buy guys' clothing. Well, he's let me cut my hair before, but they were all shorter feminine styles. This time, I finally found one I like (It's an older Zachary Quinto cut actually) and I show it to him. He tells me he doesn't want me to look like a guy until I'm out of high school because *he* doesn't want to deal with hearing about me being bullied. I will be a senior and I've been bullied for literally like all of my life. And I've gotten to the point where I've stopped caring about bullies. So he's doing this out of concern for himself, not for me, saying it will be "easier" to wait to actually express my gender identity till I'm out of high school. Which may be easier for him but not for me. Well here's the big thing. The dysphoria has been getting to me bigtime, to the point where I'm up crying every night. I feel like I'm drowning in it, and it physically feels harder to breathe. And every night I feel more and more like I don't want to live. If I go to anyone else and he finds out he'll take all my electronics away and right now the only friend I actually have is on the internet. If I lose contact with her, I would seriously want to die. I need tips. For how you dealt with dysphoria with unsupportive parents. Because I literally have a no win scenario right here. Please help. I am desperate.
Parents suck. Mine won't even call me by male pronouns which is part of the reason I'm back in girl mode until i can afford to just buy my own clothes/binders etc. With hair, i just went out and paid for my own hair cut. He can't make your hair grow back. Dysphoria is a cruel bitch i know. Do you have a binder or a packer or anything could help ease the dysphoria a bit? I find binding curbs my dysphoria immensely. And you should tell your parents you're depressed and maybe they could let you see a therapist. Then the therapist could help you with your gender issues as well as your depression. Also it says you're located in California. Maybe you could find and lgbt support group near you? I have one close to me and i live in kind of a small town, so finding one in cali should't be hard i would assume. And if you find supportive friends irl, then if he takes away your electronics you'll still have a support system.
My father won't do anything to help, only to oppress, and I know my mother would be the same if she were here. I have no way to bind or pack and my family can't afford a therapist for one and for two my father would never believe me and just think I'm an attention whore trying to spite him. I live in a small town in the most conservative county in California and 99.99 percent of the people up here are anti-LGBT. I have nowhere to turn really.
Could you pack with a sock and make a binder yourself? (by sewing). I'm assuming the sports bra/tights/camisole method doesn't work for you?
They don't, unfortunately, and I'm not allowed to anyway. I made the mistake of talking to him about binding and he told me I'm not allowed to at all.
You could try talking with the trevor project. They're trained in this kind of thing. I'm sure they have some good ideas.
