Some mornings are harder than others... I really wish I was on vacation right now. I just don’t want to go into work and get called ‘buddy’ and ‘sir’ while my face is all stubbley and gross because the wedding’s on Sunday and I want to have a good shave, so ooooh no, I can’t shave today or tomorrow or, gods forbid, never have to shave again, and I’m feeling angular and gross and just about the opposite of everything I want to be feeling. I haven't been able to get ahold of the doctor's office, starting to think he's taken the summer off and like I'm never gonna get my HRT and be stuck feeling like this forever...:bang: Gender dysphoria's kicking my ass today, and I wish I could just go back to bed…:tears:
Its so weird about work. I get called dude, man, buddy, sir and I cringe all of the time. When I'm in stores ill only go to female associates or gay men since they always call me honey, sweetie, baby etc. I think its just straight men that tend to put me off. I also don't like when men ask me to check out a woman because it makes me feel dirty - because even though I'm into girls its not in that way guys are. I hate work. That really sucks about the drs office. I'd be all jittery and pacing, waiting and just so impatient. Hopefully monday they get back to you. Yesterday I spent the whole day in bed. Just listening to music and writing. I was feeling too mannish and didn't want to go out. If my gender shit was taken care of my life would be fine too. So that upsets me even more.
