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Don't want to be offensive..

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Brodie, Jul 12, 2014.

  1. Brodie

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    but I wouldn't describe someone as trans, but as the gender they are or have transgendered to. Is this correct? I would hate to offend anyone but would you prefer being called trans, male or female? An only when literature calls for it, obviously your name would be the first descriptive label, this is just fyi.

    Thanks, x
     
  2. TheFSM

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    I don't qouite understand your question. do you mean you call people by the gender/pronouns they lable themsevels? I don't see the problem with that. "but as the gender they are or have transgendered to." I think you mean transitioned not transgenderd.
    I think a lot of people want to pass and not don't even want other people to know that they are trans. But I guess that is up to the person.
    I hope I answered your question/s
     
  3. Nychthemeron

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    I think he means he doesn't think of them as a transgender person, but rather the gender they identify as.

    In that case, no, I don't think you're offensive. In fact, I would love to just slap down the little ♂ for my gender, but I would have to clarify otherwise, and saying I'm trans in my profile is just simpler for everyone.

    So, me, I really, truly don't care as long as you don't use it to be offensive.
     
  4. Brodie

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    Transitioned.. that's the word I was looking for before I brutally used "transgendered" like a fool. Which in fact is not even a real word is it..?

    An yea Ny you got it, I don't want to put "blah blah male/female/trans" as if it is a seperate category, if that makes sense? I also don't want to miss out the term and exclude a set of people. Maybe I shouldn't be worrying about labels its just I would be pissed if I offended a friend on a silly term they are trying to get away from, if they are female I would rather say female. idk.
     
  5. Nychthemeron

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    It's fine. Honestly. You didn't mean to insult anyone. And, well, transgendered is actually a word, but a lot of people avoid using it because it can be taken offensively.

    I think it'd be appropriate to drop the 'trans' or 'transgender' or whatever label you're using when presenting them. For example, if you were introducing Lucy to a group of friends, don't say she's transgender. Just say she's a girl. However, if you're looking for advice on how to help Lucy through her transition, then yes, you can and should probably clarify that she's transgender.

    I suppose it's like any other label, actually. If I had to introduce you to my friends, would I say, "Here's Brodie. He's gay," or would I say, "Here's Brodie. He's a cool dude"?

    Obviously you would probably not want to be outed, even if you are out to everyone (according to your profile), because of obvious and possibly personal reasons, right? I think the trans/transgender/etc. label is similar.
     
  6. justjade

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    ^This.

    Also, being trans usually comes with a hefty social stigma and lots of uncomfortable questions. I've been asked about everything from what my family thinks to my anatomy. It's just better to introduce us as our true gender and not as trans so we don't get put on the spot.
     
  7. Emulator

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    I think most transgender invididuals do prefer you to drop the 'transgender ____' and just refer to them as the gender they identify as.
     
  8. Acm

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    Yeah I think most trans people actually prefer to just go by their gender and not have the "trans_" prefix. I only use it on EC because of this section
     
  9. the gypsy

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    I just say that my trans friend was 'wrapped in the wrong package before shipping'. Or I'll note 'physically female, personally male' since the physical gender is just medical and is meaningless without the agreement of the spirit, to me. That's the way I think of it, anyway. As far as address, I just address trans folks as their internal/preferred/true gender so long as they're not jerks to me. If I look at a stranger and see a female body, I'm going to assume 'she' because that's the body my eyes register. If they flip out on me, then fuck 'em, because that isn't necessary. If they're mature enough to correct me politely then I'll gladly apologize for not noticing/recognizing and address them as they truly are.

    He says that he finds it refreshing from the walk-on-eggshells rhetoric, and I've known him long enough that if he took any offense he'd not hesitate to tell me. That's part of why I like him so much.
     
    #9 the gypsy, Jul 12, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2014
  10. YuriBunny

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    I agree with this post.
     
  11. Kaeden42

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    I agree with everything that's been said. I'd say you only need to say trans if its specifically relevant and you know that the person is ok with it.