I think about it every day, but I have just left the questioning mode. I think that as time passes, I'll think about it less and less because I am not questioning anymore. But I'll probably start thinking about it when gender issues come up during my life.
I think about it a lot because I don't know what to be or to call myself. Gender is a confusing concept that I don't know how to apply to myself. So I think about it when people use gendered terms on me, I think about it getting dressed in terms of my gender expression, I think about it when I see gendered ads or products, when I see gendered bathrooms....an on and on... I'm not consumed by it like I was with figuring out my sexuality, but trying to sort out my relationship to gender is way more confusing.
I think about it every day and it's on my mind almost constantly. I can't stop thinking about it entirely because I always have dypshoria, or I try to be very conscious about my body language in public to see if I can pass as male. Even if I am distracted, my mom seems to have noticed something is up, because she keeps mentioning the way I dress.
Hmm...I guess I have a little more severe dysphoria situation that the people above. Here is usually my day: Wake up, go to bathroom, avoid mirror, take a shower with the strawberry scented soap, eye closes all the time. Skip the razor, get a tweezer instead, because I fear I might just want to skin my face off when shaving. Wear my clothes as androgynous as possible, walk to university. Ear phones on, music up, ignore all the "bro", "dude", and other male pronouns when people greet me. Nodding sometimes so they won't have to repeat those pronouns. Listen to lecture and tell my prof to use my names only instead of adding "Mr". Goes home, put on my favourite female yukata bought within confusion on a trip to japan long ago (mom doesn't even know it is female), put it on and savour the feel of its fabric on my skin, also, no pants. Chill around on my bed, flip on laptop, goes straight on to Google LGBT news, share and comment on Empty closet. End of day.
Since I've been questioning my gender, every day, too often to count. Sometimes I feel like I'm wearing a Halloween costume when dressed like a man. I often wear panties to feel more comfortable. I haven't yet gotten the courage to dress as a woman in public, but I often wear dresses in my apartment. When I see women about town, especially in feminine clothes, I feel this weird dual envy of wanting to be with her as a partner and wanting to look more like her. I haven't developed full blown dysphoria yet, as in absolutely loathe my male body, but I definitely feel uncomfortable in it.
Too often, I never used to, then I started questioning my gender so it was constantly daily, now it isn't that bad, but I still get pretty dysphoric, so there's that
I stopped thinking about my gender a long time ago. Most people just know me as "the short hippie with a flannel-shirt". :dry: Random ppl come to me every day asking the same old question. At first accepting my biological gender was a pain in the *ss, but nowadays I usually just smirk and let them figure it out on their own. Trust me, humour is sometimes the key.
if I think about this shit too much it all just becomes too much ya know? and then the depression comes and I don't feel male anymore and I hate myself I hate everything I hate my life. so yeah..... I can never get it outta my head but I have to force myself to stop, cos otherwise (refer to previous paragraph
I never used to think about it so much as I do right now, but I believe myself to be probably cisgender with a different gender expression or something like that.
