Ok I will try to make this as brief as possible but give you as much detail as I can. I'm really confused by what exactly my gender is and hopefully I can get some help here. I am a 26 year old biological male. I have all male parts but I have many female characteristics or things about me that don't seem totally male. For example I'm a very short guy, only 5'5, and I look very young for my age. The oldest anyone has ever guessed my age is 18, but most people guess about 16. This has been like this my entire life and it has caused a lot of problems in the past growing up. For example in high school I could only get a date my senior year because I looked so young and even then my dates were all freshmen. No one my ago wanted to date a guy that looked like I child. On top of that I tend to be very emotional and nieve. It takes me about two weeks to grow facial hair that takes most guys 3 days, I can't ever seem to build muscle, even at 26 my voice is still pretty high pitched and cracks occasionally. All of this and more that are things that simply don't seem male. Even going through puberty I had something called gynocomastia which pretty much means that I was literally starting to grow breasts even thoug I'm male. It got so bad to the point where I even started lactating and had to wear an undershirt to prevent wet spots from appearing on my chest during school. Now I've been doing research for a while now and from what I can tell all of these weird symptoms could mean that I have a very high level of estrogen in my body for a male. Honestly I'm ok with that. I've never felt totally male and I hate the social aspects of bein male. Males are supposed to be assertive, protective, and confident. Now I can be all of those things when I want to, but I'm never comfortable doing it. On the other hand I don't feel like I'm female either. I have a hard time imaging myself going through a full transition but the idea does intreague me more than staying totally male. I've also tried exploring non binary genders and haven't found one that describes me. I do have times where I feel more masculine than feminine and vice versa, but most of the time it's more feminine than masculine, but still not totally female. It's like I have two sides to me that come together to make my one personality. The two sides often conflicts and it's difficult to organize my thoughts because I have a male voice and a female voice but no one sees that because all they see is my one personality that comes forward. Like I said it's pretty confusing and I have been seeing a councelor for about 6 months now but I just feel like I need to hear something from a community of people with similar issues.
Not genetic, no. I thought intersex was with both male and female parts though? Or is there something else to it? I have a blood test soon to test for a few things including hormone levels so I'll have a little more info on that soon.
For the intersex part, I think there can be other things than genitalia, like chromosomes, hormones all the secondary characteristics basically. About the gender identity part. I ti s okay to not have label for it. I personally go with non-binary or genderqueer because more "specific" labels don't really fit me. I don't really feel like my gender has much to do with male or female but there are days where I like to express more feminine or masculine. For me personally sth like agender, third gender or maverique seems to kind of work, but not all the way. Gender is complicated and in our language we don't have words to describe how everybody feels about thier gender.Mostly because gender is a very personal and complicated thing. But also because thinking of gender as not being binary is a pretty new concept to our western culture... If you do want a specific label there are a few websites with definitions, maby one of these fit you. If you want to I can link you to some
Like TheFSM said, intersex doesn't have to involve ambiguous genitalia, but can be only secondary characteristics such as breast development, wider hips, low testosterone, etc. Klinefelter syndrome, for example, is when a person has XXY instead of just XY. The Y tells the body to make male genetalia but the extra X influences hormone levels and thus often shows up as more feminine characteristics. I'm not expert, so it's best to talk to your doctor about it. And there are many conditions that fall under the umbrella term intersex; Klinefelter is just one. I know a fair amount about it from research trying to figure out what I am. I figured that I'm probably transgender, not intersex.
Thanks for the help. I guess the first thing for me to do is to figure out what I am genetically. I feel like if I have more details there then I'll be able to formulate a better opinion.
