1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Problems with my gender expression(again)

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Nightdream, Jul 14, 2014.

  1. Nightdream

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2014
    Messages:
    401
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Brazil
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Creating another thread to annoy you guys again...(joking)

    Well, I'm not here to question my gender identity anymore. My problem right now is just my gender expression. I do present myself as female and act in a more neutral/feminine way(a friend of mine said that I was leaning more towards the masculine side though), but for some odd reason I've been wanting to be even more masculine. Not as in the need of being myself or wanting to break gender roles.

    I really do feel as if it is necessary to be like that to be accepted or something like that... And I can't understand why.

    One of the answers that came to my mind was the fact that I could be trans, it turns out that I'm not really uncomfortable with my body neither with my pronouns. Right now, I believe that what might be causing this to me is the fact that in my childhood I used to not see any difference between a male or a female, finding out that the differences really exist are making me want to become more masculine so I can feel that I'm not different from the other guys.

    Stupid, I know.

    Okay, so now I probably explained why I thought about the possibility of me being trans. I had some of the social dysphoria, but after getting able to know that even cis people can be very unhappy with their given gender roles made me think that my problem could not be that.

    So... Yeah. I think I got able to express myself correctly this time... Finally.
    Right now I'm not really sure if I should follow what my mind is telling me to be because it could mean not acting like myself anymore, also... I find this to be a very awkward situation. Aren't cisgender people supposed to feel as if they are supposed to act like their birth sex gender role?
     
  2. Acm

    Acm Guest

    I think a lot of cis people don't like gender roles.
     
  3. Nick07

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2013
    Messages:
    2,637
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yup. Don't act or feel like you have to fit in some labeled box to be cis/trans. Do what makes you comfortable.
     
  4. wanderinggirl

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2013
    Messages:
    1,189
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York
    I don't know if my experience is comparable to yours because I am not you, but I am cis-female even though I go home and put on "men's" clothing. I am cis-female even though I am exploring binding, and even though I wear normal underwire bras out in public. I am cis-female despite preferring androgynous nicknames. I am cis-female because I feel no dysphoria doing so, even though I don't (and never did) like gender roles in a relationship with a member of the opposite sex.

    I am cis-female because I define myself as such. Someone else in my position may identify as gender-fluid or genderqueer, androgynous, or agender or any number of things.

    There's no one way to be cis-gender. But if that gender identity feels constraining, dysphoric, or simply not descriptive of your experience, you should look into other labels or simply write yourself off as "genderqueer". Maybe you come from a more traditional culture where you have to fit in with your culture's expectations of being a bio-female, but just because you don't fit that exactly doesn't mean you have to be something else.

    Also don't think that what you say is stupid; it was very well-articulated and thought out. :grin:
     
  5. Nightdream

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2014
    Messages:
    401
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Brazil
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Yeah, me too. You mean that I can be cisgender and have this problem, right?
     
  6. Nightdream

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2014
    Messages:
    401
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Brazil
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'll try to keep that in mind.
     
  7. RainDreamer

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2012
    Messages:
    1,323
    Likes Received:
    0
    There are many types of people. The world is a wonderful place with its diversity. Don't try to find a box and try to fit yourself in with all the other people in there if it is not your thing. If there is no box that fits you, then you can just make your own.
     
  8. Nightdream

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2014
    Messages:
    401
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Brazil
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I believe myself to be cis, so I don't think I need to be labeled as genderqueer. I already looked a lot into these non-binary genders. The closer that got for the way I feel was butch, but this identity is very linked to the gender expression and I don't act in a very masculine manner to consider this label.
    Well... I think our experiences are different. You're exploring your masculine side probably because of your curiosity and you're not afraid of doing so while I am having the feeling that I should/must be more masculine to be accepted or something like that, but before I felt this it wasn't nothing more than some sort of curiosity, a wish to experiment some stereotypicaly male things.