Hi all! I'm hoping to hear how some other gender fluid people (input from trans* brothers and sisters is also very much welcome, though may not particularly be the same circumstances) have gone about the whole name decision. Did you chose a gender neutral name that can work for any time? Do you have separate names for your separate genders? (And if so, does that get confusing?) My reason for asking is because I have just recently started to admit and explore my gender fluidity myself - and my masculine side has definitely been more dominant lately. My given name is very feminine. There is no male counterpart. So now I've found myself in a bit of a pickle because I want to stray away from that name when I am feeling in touch with my male self. My original idea was to find a sort of "nickname" for myself that is gender neutral,so that I can just tell new people I meet/the people in my life who are accepting to refer to me as that no matter what. But as I go about the search for such a nickname, I keep finding myself drawn toward very male dominant names. I just feel like picking a new name entirely that I switch between would be so confusing...both for others and myself. Thoughts?
Hello! Yes I did pick a unisex name for myself (with the help of EC ) because my given name is very feminine, the name I chose suits me as a person and I like the feel of it better.
Was it difficult/confusing for you to learn to respond to a different name? How about for those around you?
I've gotten use to it, I've told a few friends and they are cool with it. But family would most likely take it different.
not exactly in the same boat here BUT on the topic of learning to respond to a new name, it's really weird in the beginning, but pretty soon it seems normal. It's not easy for anyone involved but once you get past the initial struggle of remembering, it's a piece of cake. Good luck finding a good name, buddy!
I picked a new name too since my real name is too feminine. I just went with an initials kind of name that suited my informal personality. A.J. - After some serious contemplation, I chose for each letter a name that represented me. --A for Aster, neutral/not too feminine but flowers have always been symbolic of female energy, plus, Asters are a symbol of love. I think it would be pretty darn romantic to give my partner a bouquet of Asters because it's another way of saying, "I love you with all of me." --J for James. Representing the masculine energy that I lean more towards and express more. Plus, James is a typical name for a dude who is chill, laid back, and is a total playa~ hahaha
So then follow up question...How do you keep from people believing you take on two different personas when you go by two different names? I've only told 5 people so far about discovering this side of me, and so far they've all been extremely supportive, but 4/5 have had a very hard time understanding that just because I have a male side, that it's not like a split person type of thing ("I'm still the same old Summer personality wise, just a different gender sometimes.")...and this is before any of them have even asked if I'm going to choose a different name. Btw AJ love the name, man!
Actually the people who I've told don't see it as two different personas, they just see it as parts of one whole = me. My friends accept as me, actually my best friend is thankful that I came out because I'm not holding back who I am- so she's over the moon plus, she calls me by my nickname; Beastie. :3 The only people I let misgender (i think thats the term) is my sister and I don't mind it because the people who I feel female around the most is my family so I forgive them. They don't even use my birth name either, mostly just cutesy nicknames we've had since we were kids. *bows* Thank you most kindly!
I go by my last name because it's a gender neutral nickname that I'm already used to responding to. I do have separate male and female names that I use for myself, but I don't ask people to switch between them because I think it would be too confusing.
(Not genderfluid but In the same boat so) I just basically shortened my birth name to the first two letters so it's gender neutral. I eventually elongated that so I could explain what the shorter name was for. I did all of this when I was really little though, maybe 2nd or 3rd grade, so it probably wasn't that hard of a decision.
